Order of the Stick Wiki
Advertisement


The Ancient Black Dragon explains her plans to murder Vaarsuvius' family as vengeance for the destruction of her own child.

Cast[]

Transcript[]

Panel 1, Page 1

Outside Vaarsuvius' cottage in Ivyleaf, the voices of his family come from within.
Black Dragon (inset): You have two children, both age 26, left in the care of your mate, in the village of Ivyleaf, in the northern reaches of the Elven Homeland.
Black Dragon (inset): Your cottage is tan, with red shutters.
Black Dragon (inset): I have been there twice already, invisibly...studying it.
Child: <Parent, do you think Other Parent will be returning home soon?>*
Inkyrius: <I'm not sure, Loved One. I think one of these years, certainly.>
Footnote: "* Translated from Elven."

Panel 2, Page 1

Inside the cottage, Inkyrius serves a bowl of greens to their children.
Auburn-Haired Child: <I hope so, I made a picture of Other Parent from glitter and maccaroni. I would very much like to present it.>
Green-Haired Child: <I helped!>
Auburn-Haired Child: <Did not!>
Inkyrius: <Oh, that is beautiful! I am sure it will be well-received when your Other Parent finishes mastering the ways of magic and comes home.>
Inkyrius: <Now go wash up, both of you. Lunch is ready.>
Black Dragon (inset): They should be home from kindergarten by now, don't you think?

Panel 3, Page 1

Cut back to Tiny Island, where the Black Dragon is pinning Vaarsuvius to the ground.
Black Dragon: When I am done speaking, I am going to teleport directly there, and then I will eat them alive.
Black Dragon: Slowly.
Black Dragon: Feet-first.

Panel 1, Page 2

Black Dragon: I will then bind their souls to me with two necromantic scrolls that I acquired for this purpose.
Black Dragon: And I will disappear.
Black Dragon: I will leave this plane of existence, and you will never find me.

Panel 2, Page 2

Black Dragon: I tell you all of this because it is not enough for me to simply kill you.
Black Dragon: You have taken my baby from me. I demand that you suffer the full measure of pain that I feel.
Black Dragon: As a parent, I am sure you understand.

Panel 3, Page 2

Vaarsuvius: No! You monstrous—
Vaarsuvius tries to grapple the dragons foot.
Black Dragon: Your struggles are meaningless. If you had any power to stop me, you would have already used it.
Black Dragon: Without your magic, you are nothing. With your magic...you are still less than I am.

Panel 4, Page 2

Black Dragon: Humanoids. You think that just because my kind has stats for every stage of growth, it is perfectly acceptable to murder our children.
Black Dragon: Let us see how much XP your brood is worth, shall we? It will only take a few minutes.

Panel 5, Page 2

Black Dragon: Who knows? Maybe I'll go all the way and skin your mate alive for a garment. Perhaps a hat.
Black Dragon: Dismiss Anti-magic Field.

Panel 6, Page 2

Vaarsuvius leaps up.
Vaarsuvius: You shall not depart this place!
Vaarsuvius: Dimensional Anchor!

Panel 7, Page 2

Dimensional Anchor misses the Black Dragon.

Panel 8, Page 2

Black Dragon: Your aim really is terrible these days, isn't it?
Black Dragon: Greater Teleport.

Panel 9, Page 2

Black Dragon teleports away, "POP!"

Panel 10, Page 2

Vaarsuvius stands angry, some spell burning around V's hand.

Panel 11, Page 2

Vaarsuvius stands unbelieving.

Panel 12, Page 2

Vaarsuvius looks shocked.

Panel 13, Page 2

Vaarsuvius clutches at his or her head.
Vaarsuvius: AAAAARGH!!!!!

D&D Context[]

  • There are 12 age categories for dragons in D&D. They reach their greatest size and power after 1201 years, achieving "Great wyrm" status. This dragon is "Ancient" meaning it is between 801 and 1,000 years old.
  • Dimensional Anchor blocks any type of extradimensional travel, including teleportation.
  • V seems to have a circumstance penalty to attack rolls due to the extended trance deprivation. Additionally, the condition of Exhaustion reduces a character's Dexterity by 6 while active, which would result in a -3 penalty on ranged attack rolls.
  • Greater Teleport allows instantaneous travel with no range limit and always arrives where intended.
  • While it is not spelled out explicitly, the Black Dragon binding the souls of V's children to herself would prevent them from ever being resurrected, as even True Resurrection does not work if the target's soul is not free.

Trivia[]

  • The title refers to the one chance V had to prevent the dragon from attacking his family when V cast dimensional anchor but missed the attack roll.
  • This is the first appearance of Vaarsuvius' family: Inkyrius, Vaarsuvius' Auburn-Haired Child, and Vaarsuvius' Green-Haired Child.
  • The dragon points out Vaarsuvius's bad aim, referring to their scuffle with Qarr, where Vaarsuvius missed three Disintegrates in a row before finally hitting.

External Links[]

Advertisement