Haley and Bandana discuss Haley's new costume for the northern climes.
Cast[]
- Haley Starshine (also as action figure) ◀ ▶
- The Crew of the Mechane
- Haley's Self-Loathing ◀
Transcript[]
- Panel 1
Haley is assorting all of her treasure into various piles; gold coins, silver coins, and gems, and Bandana is making a list of everything.
Haley: —then in addition to the coins, we’ve got some gems that I estimate to be worth about 32,000 gp total, give or take.
Bandana: Hmmm. Could be tight. This many new parts can cost a lot, and the gnomes got a good sense for when they’ve got you by the short hairs.
- Panel 2
Haley: We’ll need to wait for V’s magic item assessment to know our total budget, then. Though I should be able to sell my old armor.
Bandana: That set I loaned you fits pretty well, then? You didn’t fall out of it with all that runnin’ around on deck.
- Panel 3
Haley: Yeah, actually. Kinda surprising, since you’re so skinny and all.
Bandana: Oh, it ain’t mine. My ex left it in my closet when we split. She was curvy, like you.
- Panel 4
Bandana: I was plannin’ on sellin’ it myself, but I’m real happy to let you use it.
Haley: Thanks. I was freezing my butt off in my desert outfit, and it was only going to get worse as we headed north.
Haley points to her desert outfit hanging on the coat rack.
- Panel 5
Haley: Plus, as the lead woman in this comic, I think I’m contractually obligated to switch costumes at least once per volume.
Haley: It’s rough now, but it’ll be a gold mine if we ever do action figures.
Three action figures in blister packs are shown next to Haley, the packages read:
The Order of the Stick RESISTANCE LEADER HALEY STARSHINE™
The Order of the Stick LOW SELF-ESTEEM HALEY STARSHINE™
The Order of the Stick DESERT ATTACK HALEY STARSHINE™
- Panel 6
Haley: And Bandana… I know how hard it can be to suddenly be thrust into a position of authority, especially for rogue types like us.
Haley: If you ever need someone to talk to about it, just—
- Panel 7
Bandana: You kiddin’? I’ve been workin’ toward bein’ captain my whole life!!
- Panel 8
Flashback to Julio Scoundrél commanding the Mechane with Fidel Secundus at the helm. Lakaita Secundus stands nearby holding the hand of the young Bandana.
Bandana (inset): I grew up on this ship, watchin’ my folks get ordered around and such. I decided young that I’d rather be givin’ commands than getting’ ‘em.
- Panel 9
Bandana: I know this is just a temporary thing here on the Mechane, but it’ll prove I got what it takes.
Bandana: Put me on the path to getting’ my own ship someday, you know?
- Panel 10
Bandana: But hey, I for-reals appreciate you tryin’ to do the big-sister-bonding thing anyway.
Haley: Well, historically speaking, it was either that, or we try to murder each other while hurling offensively gender-charged insults.
- Panel 11
Bandana: Geez, that sounds terrible.
Haley: Like dungeon delving with a bare midriff, all I can say is that it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Trivia[]
- This is the only appearance of Bandana's father, Fidel Secundus, in the online comic. He also appears in "Julio Scoundrél and the Curse of the Mummy Queen", part of the Snips, Snails, and Dragon Tales compilation book.
- This is the first appearance of Bandana's mother, Lakaita Secundus.
- This is the final appearance of Haley's Self-Loathing, the phrenological incarnation of Haley's low self-esteem. Haley's Self-Loathing was an important factor during the time when Haley could only speak in cryptograms. She first appears in #311, Internal Dialogue.
- Panels 5, 10, and 11 lampoon the lightly problematic tropes that Haley has participated in in the comics run, most notable her common interaction with other female characters and their lack of nuance. The title itself also seems to agree such things weren't in the best taste, of which Rich Burlew has spoken more candidly on the forums.