Half the party enjoys a state dinner at the Palace of Blood while Roy and Belkar get bread and water at the gladiator pits.
Cast[]
- The Order of the Stick
- Tarquin ◀ ▶
- Malack ◀ ▶
- Polozius ◀ ▶
- Ian Starshine ◀ ▶
- Kilkil ◀ ▶
- Geoff ▶
- Amun-Zora ◀ ▶
- Evisceratus ◀ ▶
- Gourntonk ◀ ▶
- Turban-Wearing Caster ▶
- Unshaven Gladiator ▶
- Reddish Lizardfolk Gladiator ▶
- Blond Gladiator ▶
- Tarquin's Slave Butler
- Four Dinner Guests
- Two Soldiers of the Empire of Blood
- A Slave Waiter
Transcript[]
- Panel 1
Tarquin: I must say, Son, you've certainly picked a spirited girl for yourself.
Elan: Thanks, Dad. Though, she's usually not so...what's the word I'm looking for...?
Tarquin: *Drunk*?
Elan: Yeah, that.
Haley: ...and THAT is how a picture of Thor ended up on the helmets of the team from Minnesota.
Malack: Fascinating. I have never come across that particular myth before.
Durkon: Aye, yer na tha only one.
Gourntonk: What is this we're eating?
Slave Butler: Phoenix pâté, sir.
Female Guest: Mmm! Spicy!
Male Guest: Oof, this is going to repeat on me later.
- Panel 2
Elan: Wait, don't phoenixes explode when they die?
Tarquin: Right, which is why it's so pricey. The liver has to be cut out while the bird is still alive.
Elan: ...I think I'll wait for the main course.
Tarquin: Yes, pegasus flank is my favorite too.
Elan: Or possibly dessert.
- Panel 3
Haley drinks a beer.
Haley: See, Thor once carried a hammer, a drill, AND a screwdriver, but then his evil neighbor Loki was building a deck, and asked to borrow—
Durkon: Och! Tha be IT!!
- Panel 4
Durkon (whispering): Enough o' this! Ye cannae keep pretendin' ta—
Haley (whispering): Zip it, Grandpa!
Durkon (whispering): I'm tha same age category as ye!
Haley (whispering): What part of "Mind your own business" do you not understand?
Durkon (whispering): Tha part where ye dinnae actually say that!
- Panel 5
Haley (whispering): I wouldn't be 1d3+1 sheets to the wind right now if you were capable of loosening up.
Haley (whispering): My brain cells are taking one for the team, so just go about your business and hobnob with the fancy people.
- Panel 6
Durkon (whispering): An' wha if everythin' turns out ta be on tha up an' up? Then ye'll haf lied ta people who could've helped us find Girard!
Durkon (whispering): Elan, will ye tell yer girlfriend ta stop tha charade while she can?
- Panel 7
Elan: ...
Haley: Elan?
Haley: Hello, Prime Material Plane ta Elan?
Durkon: Lad?
- Panel 8
Elan: Oh, sorry, guys. I was just thinking. It's this new thing I've been trying.
Elan: I feel bad for the others you know? I mean here we've got this huge—if sorta gross—banquet right in front of us...
Elan: ...while Belkar and Roy are probably starving right as we speak.
Elan: It's just not fair.
- Panel 9
Four annoyed prisoners watch Belkar and Roy.
Belkar: *burp!*
Belkar: I have never eaten so much bread in my entire life.
Roy: Again, I'm really sorry about this. Here, take my loaf.
Geoff: Nah, it's OK. We cultivate a variety of nutritious parasites on our bodies for just such an occasion.
Ian: Mmmm! These ones taste like neck!
D&D Context[]
- The dishes served at the dinner are both Good-aligned monsters in D&D, which is why Elan is disgusted by eating them. Phoenixes and Pegasi are both non-unique creatures in D&D, unlike their counterparts in Greek mythology.
Trivia[]
- The Phoenix in Greek mythology is a bird that cyclically dies and is reborn from its own ashes. Thus the dinner would presumably be reborn in the guest's stomach.
- In the first panel Haley references the real-world Minnesota Vikings who feature a horned-helmeted blond viking as their logo.
- The arrangement of the dinner guests perhaps bears a superficial resemblance to Leonardo da Vinci's painting, The Last Supper, with Durkon as Jesus, Malack as Judas, and Haley as the Apostle John.
- "Three sheets to the wind" is a sailing expression meaning drunk. On old square-rigged ships, there were four sheets (ropes) which controlled the sail on the yard arm. If three sheets had come loose then the sail was only holding on by a single line. Haley puts a D&D spin on the phrase by making the number of sheets variable, "1d3+1", meaning she has an even chance of being 2, 3, or 4 sheets to the wind.
- This is the first appearance of Geoff, the peg-legged man in the gladiator pits.
- This is also the first appearance of the Turban-Wearing Caster at the dinner and the Reddish Lizardfolk Gladiator, Unshaven Gladiator, and Blond Gladiator at the gladiator pits.
- This is the only appearance of Tarquin's Slave Butler (with the waxed mustache). He makes two additional appearances in the bonus material outside of the webcomic.