Another member of the Linear Guild attacks.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

The gang gets up from their seats in the arena.
Elan: Uh, Dad? Haley and I need to go... uh... have sex.
Tarquin: Well, you'll miss the big fight, but you do what you need to do.
Haley: Come on, V. And bring the cat, just in case.
Tarquin: ...Huh.

Panel 2

Elan, Haley, and Vaarsuvius, with Blackwing and Mr. Scruffy, walk along an arcade beneath the arena stands.
Elan: Haley, if Thog's alive, then NALE is probably alive!!
Haley: No "probably about it. There's no way Thog got himself back to the Western Continent.
Vaarsuvius: Indeed, were he alone, he would have had little reason to withdraw from a city overrun by goblinoids.

Panel 3

Elan: So Nale has been alive—and here—for months?!
Haley: It gets worse. Those posters have been advertising that these games were being held in your honor for the last two days.
Haley: If Nale is anywhere in the city, then he knows that we are, too.

Panel 4

Vaarsuvius: Furthermore, if he knew that you would be present at this gladiatorial match, then he would also know that you would see his half-orc underling—
Vaarsuvius: —as you just did—
Vaarsuvius: —which in turn means that he knew that you would know that he was in the empire, and that you would know that he would know that you knew.

Panel 5

Haley begins rummaging through one of her bags of holding.
Elan: Which means... that I'm totally confused.
Haley: It means that we should get ourselves ready to fight, because if Nale is planning on catching us off-guard, the best time to do so is right—

Panel 6

Zz'dtri: Flesh to Stone.
A ray of green mystic energy energy strikes Haley from above. Haley is turned to stone, dropping her bag of holding.
Elan: HALEY!!!!

Panel 7

Polozius hovers in the air above them.
Zz'dtri: Hello.
Elan: You?!? Why? Are you working for my brother?

Panel 8

The illusion begins to fade as Zz'dtri reveals his true form.
Zz'dtri: Never stopped.

Panel 9

Elan: Zz'dtri?? What—How—?
Blackwing: Hey, so THAT'S why all the glares!
Vaarsuvius: Bah! Impossible.

Panel 10

Vaarsuvius: When last you threatened us, I had you dragged away by those buffoonish lawyers due to your obvious infringement of a more popular dark elf character.
Vaarsuvius: How could you have possibly escaped?

Panel 11

Green lightning arcs from Zz'dtri at Vaarsuvius.
Zz'dtri: Parody is protected speech.
Vaarsuvius: Nnnh!

D&D Context Edit

  • Flesh to Stone is a 6th level spell which instantly petrifies the target should they fail their saving throw.
  • Zz'tri also apparently uses Lightning Bolt, a 3rd level spell, in the final panel, though without the customary shouting of the spell name.

Trivia Edit

  • The title refers to the popularity of the R.A. Salvatore character Drizzt Do'Urden, of which Zz'dtri is a parody.
  • The title tags on to Zz'dtri's final line about parody. Zz'dtri (outside of his appearances in disguise as Polozius, or in flashbacks) was last seen all the way back in #65, when he was dragged away by The Lawyers for infringing on the copyright of Wizards of the Coast.
  • This is the final appearance of the Balcony Guard. He first appeared in #775, Welcome to the Arena.

External Links Edit

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