Consult Your Doctor Before Reading This Comic
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 324
Date published 16 June 2006
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"Don't Make Me Turn This Quest Around" "The Test of the Body"
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The party enters the Sunken Valley, after some legal disclosures.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Roy: Well, this is it gang: Sunken Valley.
Magic Mouth: HALT!
Elan: Ooo! A Magic Mouth!

Panel 2

Magic Mouth: Beware, for the Sunken Valley lies beyond, home to the Oracle of the Sunken Valley.
Elan: I wonder why they call the Oracle that...
Magic Mouth: Only those found worthy may enter and visit the Oracle.

Panel 3

Magic Mouth: Those entering the valley will find themselves subjected to three tests: a Test of the Body, a Test of the Mind, and a Test of the Heart.
Belkar: Roy, do we have to listen to this?
Roy: I don't know, It wasn't here last time...

Panel 4

Magic Mouth: Each test will gauge whether you are truly capable of handling the revelations the Oracle might make.
Magic Mouth: The Oracle is not responsible for the content of the tests.

Panel 5

Magic Mouth: Test installed and maintained by QuestGuard®, the land's leader in merit-based security.
Magic Mouth: Keep nosy adventurers out of your remote geographical location with QuestGuard. Call today, and get your privacy back.

Panel 6

Magic Mouth: The Oracle of the Sunken Valley is for entertainment purposes.
Magic Mouth: The Oracle is not liable for any loss or injury that may arise from listening to the Oracle.

Panel 7

Magic Mouth: People visiting the Oracle may experience headaches, dizziness, loss of appetite, dry mouth, memory loss, rickets, or feelings that they are but insignificant motes of dust in an uncaring universe.

Panel 8

Magic Mouth: Check with your cleric prior to visiting the Oracle if you are taking Potions of Remove Disease more than once per month.
Magic Mouth: If you are nursing, pregnant, or might become pregnant, you shouldn't visit the Oracle.

Panel 9

Magic Mouth: Erections lasting longer than four hours—
Roy: OK, we're done here.

D&D Context Edit

  • Magic Mouth is a 1st level bard spell which creates a magical mouth to deliver a message.

Trivia Edit

  • The comic pokes fun at the many legal disclaimers attached to commercials and other advertising, in particular pharmaceutical ads which must disclose side effects.
  • The magic mouth is a spell effect, not a character, and so its appearances are not counted. For those keeping track, it does reappear in #564.

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