Order of the Stick Wiki
Advertisement
Cquote1 HEY! Our thieves are only allowed to steal from the people that our thieves are allowed to steal from![1] Cquote2
Crystal
Crystal
Biographical information
Birth

Year 1159

Death

Year 1184

Hometown

Greysky City

First Comic

580

Last Comic

981

Physical description
Species

Human

Gender

Female

Age

25-26 (same age as Haley)[2]

Hair color

Black

Chronological and political information
Affiliation

Greysky City Thieves' Guild

Class

Rogue (presumed) / Assassin

Alignment

Neutral Evil[3]

Known masters

Bozzok

Status

Deceased/Destroyed

D&D Stats
Level

6+/1-9 (total level 15+)[4]

Crystal was an enforcer in the Greysky City Thieves' Guild, and Haley Starshine's personal nemesis. Meeting at 19 years of age, they kicked off their relationship with an immediate hatred for each other. When Haley returned to Greysky City, Crystal tried to kill her, but failed, and was killed by Haley instead. She was then brought back as a flesh golem, and finally destroyed by Haley.

Biography[]

Pre-Order[]

Crystal met Haley upon joining the Guild when they were both nineteen;[2] however Crystal's first move was to "compliment" Haley's lime-green Boots of Speed, to which Haley responded in kind about Crystal's hair. Their mutual antagonism led to a longstanding rivalry, which had the unfortunate consequence of raising Crystal's level with Haley's.[4] It was Crystal who re-blinded Old Blind Pete on his way to Anywhere after a Cleric of Loki regenerated his eyes, and Haley mentioned her as having once "head-but[ted] an elderly gnome woman into a coma".

Don't Split the Party[]

OOTS0648

Crystal is ambushed by Haley, and is later killed with her own knife.

When Haley was forced to re-enter Greysky City and attack Hieronymus Grubwiggler, a necromancer under Guild protection, Crystal was one of the Guild members who ambushed her, Celia and Belkar. Once Haley was incapacitated, she cut off much of her hair as revenge for the past insult, taking her token ponytail as a trophy. Haley was saved from a coup de grace by Belkar, newly emerged from his sickness. Belkar reduced Crystal to zero hit points, but left her alive. Celia eventually bartered with Bozzok for a truce and help retrieving Roy's body (now a bone golem) from the necromancer, which Crystal took part in. Despite this respite, Haley killed her and stole her knife before leaving.

Utterly Dwarfed[]

Crystal was later reanimated, as an exotic flesh golem[5], the result of Bozzok spending the money Haley gave him to raise the thieves killed in their conflict to rebuild her, and ambushed Haley, Elan, and Bandana in Tinkertown. As a flesh golem she retained her memories and skills. She attempted at first to use this opportunity to take revenge, blaming Haley for her death and for her reanimation as a flesh golem, which caused her constant pain. Haley managed to turn Crystal against Bozzok by pointing out that Bozzok was the one responsible for the worst of Crystal's suffering: all Haley did was kill her, while Bozzok was the one to reanimate her in an unpleasant state. He did this despite the agony Crystal then suffered and the fact that raising her properly would actually have been cheaper. Bozzok attempted to order her to go back to killing Haley, but only further angered Crystal by confirming Haley's assertions that he did not care about Crystal, to which she responded by beating him to death.

OOTS0981

Crystal is killed once and for all.

After killing Bozzok, Haley asked Crystal what she would now do, to which she replied that she would stay in Tinkertown, and kill gnomes, because "Hurts less when I'm hurting someone else". Because of this, Haley lead Crystal to the Tinkertown Municipal Waste Disposal Facility, and caused her to fall into the lava below, thus killing her once and for all. Haley stated that she was going to kill Crystal because she was a "sadistic, unrepentant murderer who's a danger to, like, everyone".

Personality and Traits[]

Haley referred to Crystal as being "as dumb as a used tanglefoot bag". This dimwittedness is often proven, such as when she concluded that Haley's refusal to eat pickles translated to a physical vulnerability to them. Bozzok also claimed she often forgot what he ordered her to do, or even got bored with her orders and decided to get high instead. Crystal was a violent and sociopathic monster. She found joy in the pain of others, and let all her frustration out on them.

Powers and Abilities[]

  • Unknown base class: Lacking strong combat ability, it is presumed that rogue is her base class. It would be the most obvious entry class for an assassin in the Thieves Guild. However, she only stole from people after she had already killed them, so she may have had no levels in rogue. But it is known that she has the same level as Haley due to her status as personal rival,[6] so she had at least 15 total levels between her classes at the time of her death.
  • Assassin Training: Crystal had at least one level left in the assassin prestige class progression.[7]
    • Sneak Attack: As an Assassin, Crystal was entitled to Sneak Attacks against unsuspecting targets. She was seen using this only once, when attacking Elan in Tinkertown. This would stack with any Rogue Sneak Attack bonus she might have.
    • Death Attack: As an Assassin, Crystal was entitled to Death Attacks, though due to her low Intelligence it was likely not as effective as it could be. Nevertheless, she used this to great effect when she killed Hieronymus Grubwiggler while recovering Roy Greenhilt's bone golem.
  • Flesh Golem: As a flesh golem, Crystal exhibited high Damage Reduction, spell resistance, immunity to sneak attacks, and increased ability scores, including enhancements to her Strength and, Haley jokes, her Intelligence. Unusually for a flesh golem, she was not only healed by electricity, but saw her speed vastly increase when blasted by a lightning cannon.

Weapons and Equipment[]

  • +4 Dagger: Crystal's distinctive dagger was taken by Haley after she killed Crystal. Crystal regained the dagger during their fight in Tinkertown. It was destroyed along with Bozzok's sword during their combat.
  • Rings of Protection: Crystal had at least two rings which provided some magical protection, likely to armor class. Haley took them, and is either currently using them or sold them in Tinkertown.

Gallery[]

References[]

Greysky City Thieves' Guild
BozzokHankCrystalJennyOld Blind PeteYorChuckToby
Appearances
580, 581, 602, 607, 608, 609, 610, 613, 614, 616, 621, 645, 648, 942, 971, 972, 973, 974, 975, 976, 977, 978, 979, 980, 981
Advertisement