As Hel seeks to directly contravene in the battle, Thor and Loki divert her attention with the bureaucracy of dwarven souls.
Cast[]
- The Order of the Stick
- Durkon Thundershield (in scrying) ◀ ▶
- Thor ◀ ▶
- Gontor Hammerfell (in scrying) ◀ ▶
- Loki ◀ ▶
- Hel ◀ ▶
- Logann Brightstone (in scrying) ◀ ▶
- Thrym ◀ ▶
- Clan Cobalt Elder (also in scrying) ◀ ▶
- Clan Ironthumb Elder (also in scrying) ◀ ▶
- Clan Stonebrow Elder (in scrying) ◀ ▶
- Clan Elder that Drools (also in scrying) ◀ ▶
- Clan Elder with Gray Beard (in scrying) ◀ ▶
- Clan Elder with Brown Bun (also in scrying) ◀ ▶
- Clan Elder with Gray Bun (also in scrying) ◀ ▶
- Clan Elder with Green Cap (in scrying) ◀ ▶
- Clan Elder with Monocle (in scrying) ◀ ▶
- Lord Speaker (also in scrying) ◀ ▶
- Priestess of Dvalin (also in scrying) ◀ ▶
- Millidren Thickbelt
- Noted Expert
- Regin Greenhammer
- Eight Dwarven Souls
Transcript[]
- Panel 1, Page 1
Lord Speaker: With no further motions, let the divine force of King Dvalin come forth and pose to use the day's question.
The priestess of Dvalin is struck with divine light, "ZOT!"
- Panel 2, Page 1
Cut to Hel
Hel: Time at last for me to act.
Thrym: I thought you couldn't intervene directly?
Hel: Only because Odin and the rest would have noticed. But now that the mortal is channeling Dvalin, every god is watching that chamber rather than the battle going on outside of it.
- Panel 3, Page 1
Hel: The key is to be subtle, so that even if one of them notices, they will hesitate for a few precious minutes before acting.
Hel: I think a heart attack for my former high priest's host should do the trick.
- Panel 4, Page 1
Thor opens the gate to Hel, "WHAM!"
Thor: HEL!!
- Panel 5, Page 1
Hel: What are you doing here?! Get out!!
Thrym: Stand back, my beloved! I'll protect you!
- Panel 6, Page 1
Thor: First—Dude, she's just not that into you. You're embarrassing yourself.
Thor: Second—I have every right to be here to challenge the soul disposition of a given dwarf. Specifically, Millidren Thickbelt. I say she died with honor.
Millidren appears in Thor's hand with a "POP!"
- Panel 7, Page 1
Hel: What? That one died of pneumonia, cowering under her bed!
Millidren: Ahhhh!
Thor: Yes, and my position is that she was locked in a ferocious battle with her own deep-seated inadequacies at the time.
Thor: I've prepared an extensive oral dissertation to that effect, if you'd like me to explain.
- Panel 1, Page 2
Hel: Ugh, whatever. It's one soul, take it and leave I'm busy.
Thor: Great! After we discuss Regin Greenhammer.
Thor tosses Millidren aside. Regin Greenhammer appears in Thor's other hand with a "POP!"
Millidren: Wheeeee!
- Panel 2, Page 2
Hel: You've got to be kidding! He was shot in the back running away when his unit was ambushed by orcs!
Thor: And I've produced a feature-length documentary explaining why he thought that was the honorable thing to do at the time.
The screen reads "Noted Expert" below the commentator.
Noted Expert (from an illusory screen): The dictionary defines "courage" as—
- Panel 3, Page 2
Hel: Fine! I don't have time for this!
- Panel 4, Page 2
Thor: I thought you might feel that way.
Thor: Which is why I took the liberty of preparing arguments for every dwarf that died dishonorably in the last year that we didn't object to at the time. You want to do this chronologically or alphabetically?
- Panel 5, Page 2
Hel: Do you swear to leave my domain immediately if I concede them?
Thor: I swear.
- Panel 6, Page 2
Hel: Then so be it. I'll have more where they came from soon enough.
Thor: An excellent choice. I'm sure each of those dwarf souls will enjoy their new afterlife in their respective god's domain.
A bunch of Dwarves run past Thor towards the Gate.
Dwarf Soul #1: Woooo!
Dwarf Soul #2: Hooray!!
- Panel 7, Page 2
Thor: And now I will leave as promised—
Thor: —rather than, say, further distracting you by disputing every other previously uncontested death from the last century or so.
Loki enters, wheeling an overstuffed filing cabinet.
Loki: Hi, Pumpkin!
D&D Context[]
- The spell being used by the priestess of Dvalin in the first panel is Summon Proxy, a unique spell to the Order of the Stick universe which channels the voice of a god through their priest. It is not clear precisely what level it is, but it is known to be fairly high, as it requires a "high level" cleric to cast.
Trivia[]
- This is the only appearance of Millidren Thickbelt and Regin Greenhammer, the two named dwarves who had their souls released from Hel, as well as the Noted Expert who helped make the case for Regin's release.