Heroic Fantasy
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 562
Date published 6 June 2008
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Therkla turns the tables on Qarr's attempt to rat her out.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Kubota: I do not wish to hear your excuse this time. Qarr has already informed me about everything that happened.
Qarr: Yeah! Now you and your tingly feelings will get what's coming to you.

Panel 2

Therkla: Please, Lord Kubota, I beg you... do not be too harsh punishing Qarr.
Qarr: Begging won't have any effect on—wait, what?

Panel 3

Therkla: Sure, the mission that you approved was sanctioned to capture—not kill—Hinjo's bodyguard. And sure, Qarr took it upon himself to openly defy your orders when he instructed the orcs to kill him.
Therkla: But he only did so because he believed that his opinion was intrinsically more valid than your orders.

Panel 4

Kubota: And why would you think that I possibly cared about the lives of Hinjo's allies? Hmm?
Therkla: I do not know, Lord Kubota. The place of a minion such as myself is not to question her master's orders, but to carry them out exactly as given.

Panel 5

Qarr: Oh, come on, sure you don't think Lord Kubota will swallow that load of stench kow pie!
Kubota: Well done, Therkla.
Qarr: WHAT?!?

Panel 6

Kubota: You managed to weasel your way out of responsibility for your own actions like a seasoned veteran.
Therkla: I study at the feet of the master.
Kubota: I couldn't be prouder if you were my own flesh and blood.

Panel 7

Qarr: But—but she tried to save them! She betrayed our cause!! Hell, capturing the bard was HER idea!
Kubota: Nature abhors a tattletale, imp.
Kubota: There will be more opportunities to kill the Order of the Stick.
Kubota: For today, I am proud of Therkla's progress toward a deeper understanding of politics.

Panel 8

Kubota: But my dear, just so we are as clear as my antique elven crystal: The next time you see Hinjo's bodyguard, you are to kill him and bring me his head.
Kubota: No.
Kubota: Loopholes.
Therkla: Y-yes, Lord Kubota.

Panel 9

Kubota: Very well. As that issue is now settled, were you able to gather any useful intelligence on our enemies?
Qarr: From what I could see, "intelligence" was pretty low on her list of what she was looking for...

Panel 10

Therkla: Oh yes, Lord Kubota. I came away with a great deal of information for me to consider.

Panel 11

Therkla daydreams of herself as a superhero with Elan as her sidekick, Qarr as her butler and Hinjo in a crystal ball as her arch-enemy.
Bard Boy: Holy mental monarchs, Ninja Girl! It looks like Hinjoker is up to his old tricks again!
Ninja Girl: Tell commissioner Kubota that we're on the case, Bard Boy. To the Ninjamobile!
Alfred: Shall I prepare the bed chambers for your and Master Elan's usual post-heroics wild sex romp, ma'am?

Panel 12

Therkla: Yes, Alfred, that will do nicely.
Qarr: Apparently "sanity" isn't in the top ten, either.

D&D Context Edit

  • Kubota's evil apparently knows no bounds, as he's just received a set of 4th Edition core rulebooks from Amazon. He's reading the Dungeon Master's Guide in the first panel.

Trivia Edit

  • "Nature abhors a vacuum" is a physical postulate attributed to Aristotle. The postulate holds that no void can exist in nature, because should such a thing exist, the surrounding matter would fill it.
  • Therkla's daydream is an adaptation of the Batman comics, with Therka as Batman, Elan as Robin, Qarr as Alfred, Kubota as Commissioner Gordon, and Hinjo as the Joker.

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