Cquote1.png Oh, golly, I'm soooo sorry I can't get worked up by what a bunch of dead dwarves think about my personal life. MY personal life, as in MY business.[1] Cquote2.png
Hilgya New.png
Hilgya Firehelm
Biographical information
First Comic


Last Comic


Physical description




Hair color


Chronological and political information

Linear Guild (formerly)
Church of Loki




Chaotic Neutral or Chaotic Evil (see Turn Undead)

Known masters

Nale (formerly)

Known relatives

Ivan (husband) (divorced)
Kudzu (son)



D&D Stats









Empower Spell[3]


Speak Language: Dwarven


Dwarf racial abilities, Fire domain, Chaos domain, Turn Undead


Cleric spell list plus Fire domain, Chaos domain spells

Hilgya Firehelm is a dwarf cleric who worshiped Loki. She was one of the original members of the Linear Guild and Durkon Thundershield's evil counterpart.

Biography[edit | edit source]

Background[edit | edit source]

Hilgya, poisoning her husband.

When younger, her parents arranged for her to marry Ivan, a dwarf from another clan who she had never met before. Unhappy in her marriage, she tried to poison her "cruel" husband (who was actually supportive and loving), but unsuccessful in her attempts (due to the natural Dwarven resistance against poisons), she ran away from the dwarven Homelands, eventually joining the Linear Guild[4]

Hilgya later claimed to Durkon that she pretended to be Nale's friend in order to steal the Talisman from him by the orders of Loki, for unknown reasons.[5]

Dungeon Crawlin' Fools[edit | edit source]

Eventually she joined the Linear Guild and traveled to the Dungeon of Dorukan, where she took a liking to Durkon almost immediately, playing Go Fish with him. Hilgya went with Durkon, Nale and Elan to the depths of the dungeon in order to activate the rune associated with fire, her saying "Jinx" when they both said Protection from Fire at the same time, which Elan took notice of and guessed she was in love with Durkon. Hilgya masters the Fire Salamander guards by proclaiming herself the servant of Loki.

When the Guild crossed the Order and obtained the Talisman of Dorukan, Sabine knocks out Durkon before he can heal Elan, Hilgya saying that she really does like Durkon. Hilgya held onto Thog's foot when they escaped flying, however Vaarsuvius cast Dispel Magic against Zz'dtri. When the Guild climbed back over the ice wall, Hilgya fell into the pit of monsters, but her fall was cushioned by a Flumph (the first instance of the running gag of people falling onto the Flumphs). Then she cast Sanctuary and protected herself from the pit of monsters, and found Durkon who was immobilized by a spell of Sabine, claiming to Durkon that she pretended to be Nale's friend in order to steal the Talisman from him by the orders of Loki.[5]

The two tried to move and find the others by jumping down on the Flumphs again. Going down an insanely dark level, they used their night vision to see. Hilgya learns from conversation that Durkon has no wife or girlfriend, which gets her excited. They encounter a monster, and they repeatedly heal each other enough for it to get frustrated and walk away. When camping, Hilgya makes suggestive comments and kisses Durkon, which Thor and Loki take disgusted notice of. After having sex with Durkon separated from the others, she narrated her life's story to Durkon who was shocked, and told her she should return back to her husband as it is her duty. Durkon seems to have truly cared for her, but when he found out that she had left her husband, and was still in fact technically married, he rejected her out of his sense of honor and duty, causing her to flee crying.[6] Durkon later refuses to talk about it to the Order.

No Cure for the Paladin Blues[edit | edit source]

Hilgya's face was briefly shown when Nale was talking about replacement members for the Guild.[7]

Don't Split the Party[edit | edit source]

Hilgya was shown along with the rest of the original Guild, scribbled in red with the other missing or dead members.[8]

Interim Events[edit | edit source]

After the events of Dungeon Crawlin' Fools, Hilgya returned to Dwarven Lands, but her time among humans led her to realize that her husband wasn't the problem; it was the marriage she was trapped in that was the problem. Furthermore, the night she spent with Durkon resulted in her getting pregnant, so she knew she would have to settle things with her family.

Her first plan was to burn their clan hall in the middle of the night, but she realized the resulting smoke inhalation would be bad for her baby. So she disguised herself as their mother and used a Dream Spell to trick her eldest brother into betting everything on a gelatinous cube race. She then fixed the race so a long shot that she bet on would win. Using the winnings, she hired The Lawyers to get a divorce, and since the Firehelms had just lost all their money, the divorce went uncontested.

No longer bound by her marriage, she set out to spread word about Loki. Later, her son was born, who she named Kudzu.

Utterly Dwarfed[edit | edit source]

She had not been seen in person since she left Durkon and Nale, missing for over a year. She reappeared in the tunnels of Firmament, after hearing someone needing help killing Durkon Thundershield, she saved the Order by distracting the vampires enough for the Order to get out of Vaarsuvius' Forcecage and force the vampires to retreat. She carries her son, Kudzu, with her.[9]

During the battle with Greg in the banquet hall, she provided important protection spells as well as summoned creatures which defeated the Symbol of Death trap in the room. However, when her spells were dispelled by the vampires, she was dominated and gave up her baby to Greg.[10] She then used an empowered flame strike to knock out Roy and kill Minrah. She remained dominated until Belkar slew the vampire.

Hilgya resurrected Durkon from the ashes of the vampire corpse, reuniting with him for the first time since the Dungeon of Dorukan. Durkon apologized for judging her and offered to help with the baby, and finally asked her to marry her. She promptly killed him with a flame strike. Later she Raised him from his corpse, with the two reaching an uneasy truce.

She participates in the attack to prevent Gontor from rigging the vote, deciding to leave Kudzu back at the temple. She decides to return for him as Council of Clans start voting. After the Order defeats the vampires and returns to Firmament, she allows Durkon to hold Kudzu before he leaves. Upon learning she is planning to stay at the temple, Sigdi insists on moving in with her.

Personality and Traits[edit | edit source]

Hilgya appears, much like Durkon, as a stereotypical dwarf of the nordic milieu in which Order of the Stick places its dwarves. She wears a horned Viking helmet and has blond hair in braids. She worships Loki, God of Flames and Chaos, and so her alignment is presumed to be Chaotic. She turns rather than rebukes undead, so it is unclear if she is Evil or Neutral. Hilgya's free-spirited attitude and hedonism made her the opposite of the dutiful and unassuming Durkon—as does the fact that the deity she worships appears to be the rival of Durkon's. (Her deity is Loki, and his is Thor, mythologically speaking, they are rivals.[11] Also Durkon joined the Order of the Stick due to respect and loyalty to Roy, his team leader, and the rest of his group, while Hilgya states that she was never really on the Linear Guild's side, but joined them because Loki wanted her to steal the Talisman of Dorukan, as well for other unknown reasons.[5]

Powers and Abilities[edit | edit source]

  • High Level: Hilgya describes herself as "powerful" with "a ton of high-level... spells".[12] She has proven herself to be at least 13th level. She is likely to be a little higher to be close in level with the members of the Order, around 15th level.
  • Turn Undead: Quite controversially, Hilgya Turns Undead,[9] rather than having the Rebuke Undead power. This implies one of two things: neither Hilgya nor Loki are evil, or the Turn Undead ability does not go by standard D&D rules in the Order of the Stick universe. In standard D&D rules, evil clerics and clerics of evil gods can only Rebuke Undead, not Turn Undead. Neutral clerics of neutral gods (on the good/evil axis) may choose, once and for all time, whether they Turn or Rebuke Undead. It is strongly implied by Redcloak that Loki is Evil[13], and Thor regards him as "wicked"[11]. If Loki is indeed Evil, then Hilgya's ability constitutes a "house rule" departure from the alignment restriction on Turning. If Loki and Hilgya are instead Chaotic Neutral, then standard D&D rules apply, but Redcloak was mistaken about Loki's alignment, and Hilgya was not truly an "evil opposite" of Durkon for the Linear Guild. Another possibility is that she cast rebuke undead while saying turn undead, as the confirmed Evil Redcloak did while confirming it as Rebuke.
  • Dwarven Abilties: She used her Darkvision when exploring the Dungeon of Dorukan with Durkon.[14]

Weapons and Equipment[edit | edit source]

  • Armor/Horned Helmet: She wears a set of plate armor[15], which includes her trademark horned helmet. It is not known if the armor is enchanted.
  • Shield: Hilgya used it in the Dungeon of Dorukan, however it is not seen in Hilgya's hand or back in Firmament.[9]
  • Holy Symbol: required for turning undead.
  • Spiked Mace: Hilgya is shown holding it when meeting the Order the second time at Firmament .[9]
  • Wand of Protection from Law: shown while preparing for the vampire ambush.[16]
  • Anarchic Water: used for casting Greater Scrying.[17]
  • Front-Facing Baby Carrier[9].

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Until her physical return in Out of the Box, Into the Fire, Hilgya was missing for 1,021 comic strips and 13 real-world years, appearing solely as an illusion conjured by Nale and on an image of the original Linear Guild.

Gallery[edit | edit source]

References[edit | edit source]

  1. Comic 84, "Saddest. Comic. Ever."
  2. 2.0 2.1 Re: Class and Level Geekery XV - What's the Damage of a Thrown Pineapple? - EmperorSarda
  3. Comic #1119, "The Fighting's So Bright"
  4. Comic #83, "Pillow Talk"
  5. 5.0 5.1 5.2 Comic #74, "Back from the Pit"
  6. Comic #84, "Saddest. Comic. Ever."
  7. Comic #142, "Misdirection and Subterfuge"
  8. Comic #668, "Moving the Pieces"
  9. 9.0 9.1 9.2 9.3 9.4 Comic #1105, "Out of the Box, Into the Fire"
  10. Comic #1126, "Battle Cry"
  11. 11.0 11.1 Comic #79, The Heavens Moved
  12. Comic #1107, Babysitter Club Flush
  13. Start of Darkness, p. 40
  14. Comic #76, "She's a Sneaky One"
  15. Comic #1181, "Hold Up a Minute"
  16. Comic #1110, "The Perfect Strategy"
  17. Comic #1109, "Spy Bowl"
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