It IS Fairly Spicy, However
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 724
Date published 17 May 2010
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"Generally Relative" "The Significantly-More-Secret Origin of Tarquin and Nale"
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The bounty hunter continues the Star Wars theme.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Tarquin: Look at you! What are you, a protagonist? I'm so proud!
Tarquin: Have you thwarted any villains yet?
Elan: We mostly run away or have mixed victories. Wait, does Nale count?
Tarquin: Eh. Not really.
Elan: Then, no.
Tarquin: Well, you're still young.
Malack: Is yours always like this?
Vaarsuvius: Yes. Yours?
Malack: Sadly.
Malack heals Vaarsuvius with black energy from his staff.

Panel 2

Tarquin: You know, I deliberately never told your brother about you, just to heighten the dramatic tension.
Tarquin: How did that work out?
Elan: Do you want to see my scar?

Panel 3

Malack: Then, this boy actually IS a second son, Tarquin? Not another trick by that traitor?
Tarquin: No, I'm certain of it. This is my other boy, Elan. He was raised by his mom on the Northern Continent.

Panel 4

Malack: Then I suppose I owe you an apology... Elan, is it?
Elan: You tried to feed me to a dragon!!
Malack: Yes. I did. Hence the apology.

Panel 5

Tarquin: You'll have to forgive Malack, Elan. Nale killed three of his children.
Malack: If he is dead, as you say, then I pray that his wretched soul is tortured for all eternity.
Elan: I think he probably gets that a lot.

Panel 6

Tarquin: I have so much to show you, my boy. I think you'll really like what I'm doing here once you get to see—
Gannji: Excuse me! Not that this isn't a touching reunion, but I think we're entitled to some compensation over here.
Vaarsuvius: I am no expert, but I do not think that bounties work that way.

Panel 7

Gannji: General Spikyhelm here just admitted that he KNEW the target had a twin brother, meaning that the bounty posting was made in bad faith, since it made no mention of the fact.
Gannji: Therefore, he's liable for the expenses incurred and income lost while my partner and I were capturing the wrong—

Panel 8

Tarquin: Yes, OK. I get it. How about eight thousand?
Gannji: I was thinking more like...fifty thousand.
Tarquin: What? Why should I pay fifty thousand?

Panel 9

Gannji: Because I'm holding a THERMAL DETONATOR!

Panel 10

Tarquin: ...
Tarquin: That's a can of tomato soup.
Gannji: I know, I was just trying to keep the theme going.
Gannji: We'll take the eight.

D&D Context Edit

  • This is the second time Malack uses his staff in the comic, in this case casting a Heal spell, healing 10 points per level (120 in the case of Malack, though the staff may heal at a different rate). The first time was in comic #718.

Trivia Edit

  • Panel 10 parodies the scene from the 1983 third installment of the Star Wars series, Return of the Jedi where a bounty hunter (Princess Leia in disguise) threatens Jabba the Hutt with a thermal detonator for fifty thousand credits. The Star Wars reference plays off of Tarquin's parody of the Darth Vader reveal in the previous strip. The title refers to the can of soup posing as Leia's thermal detonator.

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