Vaarsuvius' oft overlooked brand of revenge strikes again.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

The party approaches a public Mount Parking that is inexplicably in the middle of Wooden Forest. The sign reads,

Mount Parking
6 silver per hour or part
Early Bird Special
In by dawn, out by dusk 4 gold

Elan: So this is where the horses went while you guys were rescuing me? I kinda figured they had just vanished when you didn't need them, kind of like V's familiar.
Roy: Don't be silly.
Roy: That would be completely unrealistic.
Half-orc: There you go. One horse and one pony.
Vaarsuvius: And now I would like my mode of transit returned to my possession.
Half-orc: Do you have your ticket?

Panel 2

Vaarsuvius: My what?
Half-orc: Your claim ticket. The little yellow slip of paper I gave you yesterday when you dropped off the horse.

Panel 3

Vaarsuvius: My most humble apologies. I seem to have misplaced it among my many scrolls and spellbooks.
Half-orc: No ticket, no horse.
Vaarsuvius: Excuse me?
Half-orc: I can't give you your horse back unless you have the yellow ticket.

Panel 4

Vaarsuvius: But you just acknowledged that you remember us being here just yesterday.
Half-orc: No ticket, no horse.

Panel 5

Vaarsuvius: But I can see my horse from here!
Half-orc: No ticket, no horse.
Vaarsuvius: But it is the only horse remaining in the lot!
Half-orc: What, am I speaking Gnomish over here? No ticket, no horse!

Panel 6

Vaarsuvius: Fine!
Haley: Hey, this horse has a scratch on her! She was at full hit points when I left her.
Half-orc: Read the sign, honey.

Panel 7

The sign reads:

Ye olde management
is not not responsible
for condition of mounts.

Haley (off-panel): Grumble.

Panel 8

Vaarsuvius: I have located my ticket.
Half-orc: See? That wasn't so hard, was it?

Panel 9

Half-orc: Hey, this isn't a claim ticket, it's just a piece of paper that says "I prepared Explosive Runes this morn—

Panel 10

The ticket explodes, "BOOM!"

Panel 11

Half-orc: Your horse, sir or madam.
Vaarsuvius: A wizard NEVER loses their ticket.

D&D Context Edit

Trivia Edit

  • The title and Vaarsuvius' last quote are a twist on Gandalf's line "A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." from J.R.R Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Rings.
  • This marks another appearance of Explosive Runes.
  • There is an extra "not" on the sign in Panel 7.
  • Vaarsuvius being called "sir or madam" continues the running gag of keeping Vaarsuvius's gender ambiguous.
  • Elan references the running gag where Blackwing pops in and out of existence when needed.
  • The sign is a slam on the modern practice of companies being careless with other person's property but not wanting any liability resulting from such carelessness when it damages the property.

External Links Edit

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.