|“Kills 'Em Every Time”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||5 November 2006|
|View the comic|
Miko is caged and the watchtower guard fails to get to the beacon before Xykon.
- Panel 1
Miko: Now, foul priest of evil, you die!
- Panel 2
Xykon: Eh, put a sock in it, Samurai Jill.
Xykon casts a forcecage, "forcecage!"
Miko: NO! Not again!!
Xykon: And seriously, you couldn't have wrapped this up back in round 4? Geez!
- Panel 3
Xykon: I mean, don't get me wrong, watching you and Redcloak beat the stuffing out of each other was a hoot, but since I left my invading army double-parked a few miles back, we're kinda on the clock.
- Panel 4
Xykon: Now you two crazy kids play nice, Daddy has to go take care of some grown-up stuff.
Miko: I'll kill you both!
Xykon: Thatta girl.
- Panel 5
Watchtower Guard: huff... huff...
Watchtower Guard: Must warn... Azure City...
- Panel 6
Xykon phases through the floor
Xykon: Hey there.
Watchtower Guard: GAH!!
Xykon: Heh, that never gets old.
- Panel 7
Xykon stands between the Guard and a glowing crystal ball.
Xykon: So, funny thing.
Xykon: You know this magical early warning beacon? The one you're just chugging up the stairs for, hoping to activate?
Xykon: Every one of the watchtowers you guys have built across the countryside houses theirs in the same spot.
- Panel 8
Xykon: Weird, huh? Fourth floor, right below the archers. Now if it were me, I would move it to a different spot in each tower.
Xykon: That way, in the unlikely event that a small strategic strikeforce was moving ahead of, say, a massive horde of hobgoblins, they'd have to waste time looking for where you put the beacon.
He casts a spell, the effects just off-panel.
- Panel 9
Xykon: And that little bit of time might be the difference between getting a warning off to your precious Azure City or not.
Xykon: You might want to mention that at your next performance review. It might get you that raise you really want.
- Panel 10
Xykon: Get it? A "raise"?
Xykon: Because you're dead? A "Raise Dead"??
- Panel 11
Beat panel. Xykon stands over the dead guard.
- Panel 12
Xykon: Meh. They can't all be winners, you know.
Xykon: I gotta save the A-material for the PCs.
He shatters the warning beacon, "keeysh!"
D&D Context Edit
- Xykon apparently casts Forcecage in the second panel, trapping Miko. However, he actually casts his own researched spell, Xykon's Moderately-Escapable Forcecage.
- Ghostform was a 5th level spell in D&D 3e, released in the Tomb of Blood resource (which is why it isn't included in the SRD). In 3.5e, it was changed to an 8th level spell, included in the Spell Compendium. It is not clear which version of the spell Xykon is using, but likely the 8th version since the Order of the Stick follows 3.5e rules.
- PCs are Player Characters.
- It is not clear what spell Xykon uses to break the beacon, but it may be the 2nd level spell, shatter.
- "Samurai Jill" is a reference to the cartoon series Samurai Jack.
- Xykon bet on Miko to win in the 4th round with a Demon-Roach in the previous strip.
- A Performance Review is a procedure by which an employees performance is evaluated and documented.
- This is the final appearance of the Watchtower Guard. He first appeared in #368.