Naming Names
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 1030
Date published 25 March 2016
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The Order struggles with what to call the vampire "Durkon", now that they know he is not the same being as the old Durkon.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Roy: OK, gang: We have at least a day before we'll be at Firmament, so try to use the time to rest and prepare for some vampire-hunting.
Roy: Me? I have some important reading to do.
Haley: I'll be coming around to hand out potions to everyone.
Elan: I think I'm going to spend the time generally freaking out.

Panel 2

Elan: I mean, it just hit me: we have to go fight Durkon now?!? Cuddly little gruff-but-lovable Durkon?
Elan: Next thing you know, we'll be fighting koala necromancers or something!

Panel 3

Belkar: We don't have to go fight Durkon, and you're a moron.
Elan: Explain.
Belkar: You're not very smart and you make poor decisions.
Elan: I meant the first part.

Panel 4

Belkar: We don't have to fight Durkon because that's not Durkon! That's never been Durkon!
Belkar: We just gotta go save the world from some random undead schmuck, which is like our whole hustle, right? It's just a different dead dude than we were expecting.

Panel 5

Roy: Belkar is 100% right.
Belkar: Are you just trolling me at this point?
Roy: We're not going after Durkon, we're going after the monster holding Durkon captive.

Panel 6

Roy: In fact, we shouldn't even call that vampire "Durkon" anymore. We should come up with another name to keep it straight in our minds.
Roy: Any suggestions?

Panel 7

Haley, Belkar, Elan, Vaarsuvius and Blackwing: Count Durkula? Undurkon? Jerkon? Leechy Veinquaff? Nega-Dwarf? Durkzzaro? Deep Fang Friar? The Creature Preacher? Nokrud? The Thorsaken? Pastor Expiration? Whiskers in the Dark? Nose-Fur-atu? Hel's Shell? The Corpse Formerly Known as Durkon? Greg?

Panel 8

Roy: Never mind.
Roy: Just call him Durkon, but, you know, mentally put an asterisk next to it whenever you say it.

Panel 9

Roy: The important thing is that we all recognize how hard it could be to go into battle against a face we all know and love—
Roy: —and that we do whatever we can between now and then to prepare ourselves emotionally.
Roy: If that means taking some time to freak out and get it out of your system, that's OK.

Panel 10

Zoomed out shot of the Mechane as it flies through the mountains, "whzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
Various unspecified speakers: Ooo! We could call old Durkon, "Durkon Classic"! Or Original Recipe Durkon. Durkon (First Edition)!
Roy: Please stop.

Trivia Edit

  • This wiki uses "Durkon", or the High Priest of Hel. (See the note in the trivia section of #907.)

External Links Edit

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