Next Week They're Getting Drab
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 968
Date published 20 November 2014
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Roy and "Durkon" seek help at a shrine in Tinkertown.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Female Cleric #1: Begone!
Male Cleric: Back, you unholy beast!
Female Cleric #2: Turn undead!
"Durkon": Turn? Ye couldnae turn a year older on yer birthday.
Roy: See, now I know this is a bad situation because I just caught myself thinking, “Maybe I should have brought Belkar.”

Panel 2

Other Female Cleric: That vampire must be destroyed!
Roy: Funny thing, we’re all in agreement on that point. Where we differ is that we’d like to bring him back right away.

Panel 3

Female Cleric: We, too, would like nothing more than for our poor dwarven cousin to live again.
Male Cleric: But no cleric on our staff is powerful enough for that.
Other Female Cleric: So the fact remains that the abomination must be cleansed as soon as possible.

Panel 4

Roy: Not going to happen.
Roy: Since my friend hasn’t done anything wrong and he’s actively trying to fix his condition, I’m not going to let you chop off his head and fill it with holy wafers.

Panel 5

Female Cleric #2: …
Female Cleric #2: They’re very tasty wafers.
Roy: Still no.

Panel 6

Roy: Come on, Durkon, let’s try the next one.
Male Cleric #2: You don’t understand! Your friend’s soul is not actually in control of his—

Panel 7

"Durkon" dominates the cleric with his gaze.
Male Cleric #2: —craving for blood. He may be the same person, but the thirst may overwhelm him if he doesn’t drink.
Roy: Actually, we’ve got that part figured out, too. Thanks, though.

Panel 8

Roy: I never really thought about how much prejudice there is against the undead before…
"Durkon": Aye, aye. I blame tha educational system.

Panel 9

Roy: Still, I doubt we’re going to find a cleric of high enough level in a town of this size…
"Durkon": Mebbe na, lad, but we hafta keep lookin’! Ye gotta haf faith!

Panel 10

"Durkon": E’en if’n we dinnae find any clerics ta cast tha spells we need, I’m just sure we’ll learn somethin’ o’ value at one o’ these shrines.

Panel 11

Cut to Haley, Elan, and Bandana shopping in an open market. Elan stands at a booth marked, "Magic Bags".
Elan: Dun, dun DUN!
Elan: Don’t you have any bags that aren’t dun-colored?
Bag Vendor: We also carry greige and taupe, sir.
Elan: Let me see the taupe.

D&D Context Edit

  • In D&D, vampires are not destroyed when reduced to 0 hit points. Instead it transforms to gaseous form and attempts to return to its coffin. If it fails to do that it will be destroyed. However there are other ways to kill a vampire. A stake through the heart will kill it instantly, but it will revive if the stake is removed unless the body is destroyed. To accomplish this, a common tactic is to sever the head and fill it with holy wafers.

Trivia Edit

  • The final panel continues the running gag where Elan says "dunh dunh DUNNNH!" at moments of ominously foreshadowing dialog, even (as in this case), when he is not actually present for the foreboding moment. In this case the statement is a pun on the equine coloring dun, a grey-gold or tan. He last said "dunh dunh DUNH!" in #591. More recently Nale refused to say it to emphasize the drama of Tarquin's dialog in #821.

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