No Cure for the Wedding Bell Blues
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 501
Date published 4 November 2007
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House D Kato is formed with the marriage of Daigo and Kazumi.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1, Page 1

All on the ship are assembled for the wedding of Daigo and Kazumi.
Durkon: Ye may now kiss the bride.

Panel 2, Page 1

Daigo and Kazumi kiss, "smooch!"

Panel 3, Page 1

Kazumi Kato: Thanks again, Durkon.
Durkon: Aye, well, I still dinnae know why ye didn't just have Hinjo marry ye two.
Durkon: 'e's at least a follower o' tha Southern Gods.
Daigo: Yeah, but he's also a paladin...

Panel 4, Page 1

Daigo (whispering): we thought he might be disappointed a little by the whole, "already eight weeks pregnant," thing.
Durkon: Och, aye, I suppose so. Luckily, Thor understands these things...

Panel 5, Page 1

Cut to Asgard where Thor and Loki stand next to a pregnant Freya.
Thor: It's not my fault! She never told me she was a fertility goddess!
Loki: She has flowers in her hair and bluebirds singing around her head. Who did you think she was, the bringer of pestilence?

Panel 6, Page 1

Hinjo: Friends, if you might all gather round. I have a few words to say.
Hinjo: Joyous occasions have been all to rare for some time now.
Hinjo: It has been almost four months since our fleet first set sail from Azure City. It has been a very trying time, as I'm sure I don't need to tell anyone here.

Panel 1, Page 2

Somewhere beyond the Peripheral Frontier
Hinjo (inset, spanning two panels): We have sailed to four ports since then, each belonging to a Southern nation that we though of as our ally.

Panel 2, Page 2

The Ghostlands
Hinjo (inset, spanning two panels): We have asked each government to join in our flight to take back our homeland—and four times, we have been refused.

Panel 3, Page 2

The Realm of the Dragon

Panel 4, Page 2

The Raja Kingdom
Hinjo (inset): Some of those nations were willing to take in refugees, others provided us with critical supplies, but none have been willing to stand against the lich, for fear of being his next target.

Panel 5, Page 2

Hinjo: Throughout this difficult time, however, two of our common citizens have responded with grace and courage to the burdens that have been thrust upon us all.
Hinjo: While they may have begun their public service as mere infantry, Kazumi and Daigo have served me loyally in this time of exile, above and beyond their original station.

Panel 6, Page 2

Flashback to four Azurites being trained as soldiers. One has accidentally killed another with a halberd.
Hinjo (inset): In particular, their work recruiting new soldiers from refugees evacuated from Azure City is of critical importance...
Hinjo (inset): ...despite many setbacks.

Panel 7, Page 2

Hinjo: If ever we are to rebuild our nation, we need the leadership of good people like them.
Hinjo: It is therefore my deep honor to not only bless their marriage, but to also recommend that their new family be granted a title of nobility.

Panel 8, Page 2

Kazumi: What??
Daigo: Us? You're kidding?!?
Hinjo: Congratulations to both of you.
Hinjo: Try to do a better job than our current crop of nobles.

Panel 9, Page 2

Daigo: Thank you, Lord Hinjo.
Hinjo: Now you two better get working on an heir, I suppose.
Kazumi: Um... we promise to not disappoint, sir.

Panel 10, Page 2

Hinjo: Well, then to the success of House D—
Daigo: Actually, I think we'll use Kazumi's surname, sir. We're still saving mine, just in case.

Panel 11, Page 2

Hinjo: To House Kato, then! May the Twelve Gods bless your union forever!
All: To House Kato!

Panel 12, Page 2

Elan: *sniff!* So beautiful!
Lien: Let me guess: He always cries at weddings, right?
Durkon: Och, nay, na at all.

Panel 13, Page 2

Durkon: 'E always cries at good plot exposition.
Elan: Did you see how smoothly he worked it into the narrative dialogue?
Elan: *sob!*

Trivia Edit

  • Hinjo almost reveals Daigo's surname; we do learn that it starts with the letter D. We will learn an additional letter in #589.
  • The title is a play on the chorus of the 1958 hit single by Eddie Cochran, Summertime Blues. A similar play was made with No Cure for the Paladin Blues.
  • The identity of the fertility goddess is unclear, as is the identity of the blonde goddess in #73 and #274. The list of character appearances calls the goddess from #274 Freya. However in #999, Freya is identified as the fertility goddess of the pantheon. Sif is known for her golden hair, and is the wife of Thor. For this reason, the goddess in this strip is identified as Freya and the goddess in the other two strips is identified as Sif.
  • This is the final appearance of Captain Axe, the captain of Shojo and then Hinjo's junk, thus far in the comic. He first appeared in #473, On the Waterfront.
  • This is the final appearance of the Azure City Noble with Beard. He first appeared in #412.
  • This is the only appearance of the Realm of the Dragon Elder, who appears once more in the bonus material as well in a strip titled "In the Realm of the Dragon" from Snips, Snails, and Dragon Tales.

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