On the Origin of PCs

"Spoiler alert: They failed."This article contains spoilers from Start of Darkness, On the Origin of PCs, and/or Good Deeds Gone Unpunished

On the Origin of PCs
Number of Pages	72
Book Number	0
Color	Greyscale
Background Character	Durkon Thundershield
First Printed	August 2005
Next Book	Dungeon Crawlin' Fools (main series)
Last Book	Start of Darkness (prequel)

This Order of the Stick prequel book explains the story of how the Order got together. It features Haley and the Greysky City Thieves' Guild, Durkon and the dwarves, Roy in the Bash University, and how Vaarsuvius' and Belkar's stories are linked together.

Plot

Haley Starshine, Human rogue, 8 months ago

After successfully stealing the Gander's Diamond for the Greysky City Thieves' Guild, and getting her 58 gp and 8 cp cut for the 6000 gp heist, Haley's 'gratuitous bath scene' is interrupted when she receives a letter from a place on the Western Continent called Tyrinaria. Realizing that she'll never raise the 200,000 gp to free her father from imprisonment while giving more than half her take to the Guild, Haley decides that there's only one thing to do- Quit the Theives' Guild. On her way out, Hank the halfling warns her to leave Greysky all together, as he reckons Haley has only an hour until the guildmaster Bozzok sics Haley's rival Crystal on her.

Durkon Thundershield, Dwarven cleric, 17 years ago

Durkon is woken up one morning by the High Priest of Thor, Hurak, who has a mission for him: Thor wants Durkon to go to human lands and learn the ways of non-dwarves, so he can act as a liaison between the races, and to never return until called for by Hurak. Durkon agrees (He's THAT lawful), but his first day in a human settlement does not go well. The townsfolk misinterpret his opening speech for innuendos, almost trample him, and when he retreats to a bar, it becomes apparent that human beer does not meet dwarven standards.

Back at the temple of Thor, Hurak reveals to the temple brewmaster Firuk Blackore the real reason for Durkon's 'mission'. The High Priest of Odin told Hurak that Durkon would bring death and destruction the next time he returns home. By sending him away on mission with instructions to never return until called for, Hurak hoped to avert the prophecy, thinking it would be better than Durkon remaining and 'return home' from a trip to the grocery or relatives.

Elan, Human bard, 3 weeks ago

Minstrel to the paladin Sir Francois, Elan is sent to find an inn after ruining Sir Francois' attempts to 'blend in' with a rough crowd. Passing up the Just & Noble Inn and The Rightous Rest Inn (10% off for Divine Casters), he settles for the Rob-U-While-U-Sleep Inn. Ignoring the Innkeeper's blatant hints that the inn is run by thieves, and mentioning where they keep their valuables, Elan checks Sir Francois and himself in for the night. Naturally, the next morning the inn's staff is gone, and the paladin's jewels and armor with them. Fed up with this latest example of Elan's stupidity, Sir Francois has Elan close his eyes and count to 100. During that count, Sir Francois takes his horse and rides off, leaving Elan.

Elan: Awww, not again!

Roy Greenhilt, Human fighter, 7 years ago

One lonely night at the library, Bash University social outcast Roy is approached by his estranged father, Eugene, who's going to die (Permanently, this time). Eugene tells Roy about his Blood Oath of Vengeance he took against Xykon, a sorcerer he was never able to find. However, Eugene makes it clear that he doesn't think Roy, as a fighter, would stand a chance against the now-lich sorcerer. Instead, he's telling him to tell his little sister Julia about it when she gets old enough. Irked by his father's lack of faith, Roy decides to take up the quest, feeling that since all arcane casters suffer from too much faith in magic, a fighter would stand a better chance. Since Xykon would be more used to fighting other casters, a fighter would be able to get him before he notices. Determined to prove his father wrong, Roy swears to complete the Blood Oath of Vengeance.

Belkar Bitterleaf, Halfling ranger, 4 days ago

The psychotic halfling is in jail, facing trial for killing fifteen people in a bar fight. An explosion from the Wizard's Guild next door destroys half the prison, however, allowing him to escape. (But not before taking time to murder an unsympathetic guard he met earlier)

Roy Greenhilt, Human fighter, 3 years ago.

Having just graduated, Roy joins up with a group of adventurers, hoping to build up some levels before going after Xykon. Also part of the group is Durkon, whose years among the mostly-unlawful humans have hardened his personality, making him grouchy and unpleasant. On their way to deal with some ogres scaring a town, the leader of the party makes it clear to Roy that he hopes Durkon does not survive, horrifying the fighter. During the battle at the ogres' camp, Roy saves Durkon's life, and realizes that the ogres are just waiting for a concert due to take place in three weeks, and their trips to the town were attempts to buy snacks. Roy makes a deal with the ogres, offering to buy their snacks if they stay away from the town and leave after the concert. On the night of the concert, the other adventurers confront Roy over his decision to compromise, when killing the ogres would have been quicker. Fed up, Roy quits the party, disgusted with their attitudes. Durkon follows him, stating that he was the first human the dwarf met that solved a problem with his head when a sword was handy. The two team up, and Roy allows Durkon to join in the quest against Xykon.

Vaarsuvius, Elven wizard, 4 days ago

At the Wizards' Guild, Vaarsuvius takes part in the Iron Mage competetion. When asked a question, V runs out the preparation time with his/her usual long-winded explanations. Rushing, Vaarsuvius miswrites a spell, and the resulting explosion destroys the Guild, and the jail next door.

At a bar, Vaarsuvius talks to Haley, who suggests that the elf become an adventurer to gain XP quickly. While V is skeptical about the mechanics of RPG adventuring, s/he agrees to give it a try.

The Day Before Yesterday

Roy and Durkon are in town, having just gotten Xykon's location from the Oracle of the Sunken Valley. Realizing that the lich's defenses are too strong for them, they split up to find other adventurers. After being turned down in the street, Roy is approached by Elan, who offers to help him with the genre-conventions of hiring adventurers. Namely, being a mysterious stranger and sitting in a corner of a tavern. Despite his cynicism, Roy is shocked to find multiple adventurers line up at his table. After describing his plan, and being rejected over two dozens times, he finally gets an interested prospect, Haley Starshine. Not having a Sense Motive good enough to see through her forged Thieves' Guild membership card, he hires her. Next up, as recommended by Haley, is Vaarsuvius, who, after giving the 'Power that will drive you MAD' speech, destroys Roy's table. Roy hires V, and gives an equally long-wind explanation why he needs the elf, using so much jargon that the impressed wizard gladly offers his/her services. Afterwards, before Roy can hire a monk, Belkar strong-arms his way into the group, having a pressing need to leave town surrounded by armed people. Roy attempts to get rid of the halfling, but hires him when he finds out that Belkar can track. Finally, as thanks for his help and thinking that knowledge of genre can help, Roy hires Elan. After telling his findings to Durkon, the dwarf sends off his findings, two celestial beings who casually storm the gates of hell.

The next morning, the team leaves, and try to think up a name for their group. After thinking up idiotic names such as Cloudy Day Guild or Sacred Order of the Tavern, an irritated Roy sarcastically suggests the name Order of the Stick, because there's one lying in the road. Much to his consternation, the name is approved and subsequently adopted. The newly-christened 'Order of the Stick' encounters a bunch of kobolds, and due to silently prepared readied actions, Belkar charges at a kobold, gets shot by Haley (Who prepared to shoot the first person who charged), gets flanked by Elan (Who prepared to flank the first one injured) and finally, all of them get zapped by Vaarsuvius, who prepared to shoot lightning at the first four to line up. Luckily, this display causes the other kobolds to die from laughter. When Haley fast-talks her way into second-in-command of the Order, Roy decides to disband the group, thinking that they won't be any use in the fight against Xykon's forces. Durkon talks him out of it, suggesting that all the Order needs is a good leader like Roy. Though skeptical, Roy agrees not to split the party, and the Order of the Stick heads to the Redmountain Hills, where Xykon is hiding...

Trivia

• The title of the book is a reference to Charles Darwin's book, On the Origin of Species.