Orders That Won't Stick
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 523
Date published 18 January 2008
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"We're Doomed If She Finds the Map Key" "Pretender to the Throne"
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Haley and Belkar debate the institution of slavery.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Niu: Haley! Thank the Twelve Gods! I was getting worried. Where's Isamu?
Haley: He didn't make it.
Haley: We need to hurry up back to HQ before Thanh wakes up, too.

Panel 2

Elderly Slave: Thank you for rescuing us, miss. We are indebted to you and your cause.
Haley: You're welcome. I only wish I could have done more to—

Panel 3

Belkar: HEY! Who gave you permission to speak? I want you three pulling the cart, and get two others to carry me, like on a litter or something.
Belkar: And get someone to fan me, preferrably[sic] a chick.
Belkar: NOW, people! Move!

Panel 4

Haley: Belkar, what are you doing? These people have been worked half to death, they're not going to carry you back.
Belkar: Haley, they're slaves. You give them orders, they carry them out for you. That's the simple elegance of enslavement.

Panel 5

Haley: They're not YOUR slaves!
Belkar: You can have a few, too. There's plenty to go around.
Haley: No, I mean they're not slaves!
Belkar: I don't follow.

Panel 6

Belkar: Look, you told me that the whole point of the mission was to get the slaves, right? And I thought, "Cool, I hate doing my own laundry."
Belkar: And now we have the slaves, mission accomplished, three cheers for us. All I'm trying to do is use the slaves for their intended purpose, I fail to see the problem.

Panel 7

Haley: The problem is that the mission was to FREE the slaves, not transfer ownership!
Belkar: ...
Belkar: Are you sure? Because I really don't see how that benefits me at all.

Panel 8

Haley: Belkar, since the only reason we have to lug around Roy's disgusting smelly corpse is because YOU can't travel more than a mile away from it without triggering that stupid Mark of Justice curse, why don't YOU pull the cart?
Belkar: Uh, because we have slaves to do it?
Belkar: I mean, seriously, Haley, try thinking a little before opening your mouth.

Panel 9

Haley: They're not slaves! NOT SLAVES! They are free! Free men, free women, free hermaphrodites if there are any here! They don't have to take orders from me or you or anyone, they are free, free, FREE!!
Belkar: OK, OK, calm down, I get it!

Panel 10

Belkar: You're saying that you don't want any slaves for yourself, then.
Belkar: That's cool, I'll give yours to Mr. Scruffy.

Panel 11

Belkar and Mr. Scruffy ride on the cart (with Roy's corpse and the unconscious Thanh who is not pictured in this comic) while Haley pulls it uphill.
Niu: Haley, why are you—
Haley: It's just easier this way. Trust me.

Trivia Edit

  • The slaves were rescued in #511.
  • This is the final appearance of the Elderly Slave. He first appeared in #511.

External Links Edit