Pick Your Doom

Pick Your Doom
Order of the Stick Comic
Comic no.	300
Date Published	04 April 2006
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Xykon prepares for war.

Cast

Xykon, Redcloak, a Zombie Dragon, a massive hobgoblin army, two Demon Roaches

Transcript

Panel 1

Xykon: Redcloak! Report!
Redcloak: Well, since you asked so nicely...
Redcloak: Animate Dead.

Panel 2

Redcloak: Preparations are 98.5% complete. The bad news is that we've experienced 341 discipline problems among the hobgoblin troops this week.
Redcloak: The good news is that the ghoul horde has swelled by 315 members.

Panel 3

Xykon: Okay, have you -- wait, only 315? What happened to the rest?
Redcloak: The, uh... the ghouls do get hungry, sir.

Panel 4

Xykon: Have you analyzed those gate locations I deciphered?
Redcloak: Yes sir, I have them right here on color-coded parchments.
Xykon: Wow, you really are a dork, aren't you?

Panel 5

Redcloak: This is the first location. As you can see, it is located across the ocean.
Redcloak: Unless you want to invest heavily in water wings, I don't see us getting this many minions over water.

Panel 6

Xykon: Hey! I've got an idea!
Redcloak: So help me, if you make me sail a ship made of hobgoblin corpses across the ocean, I will find a way to make you pay.

Panel 7

Redcloak: Moving on...
Redcloak: This is the second location. It is located far to the north. In order to get there, we'd have to march through eight human nations.

Panel 8

Xykon: Can't we just conquer them?
Redcloak: Well, yes, but I'm not sure they're worth our time, sir.

Panel 9

Xykon: Redcloak, we're literally out to conquer the world here. In what way is conquering eight parts of that world not worth our time?
Redcloak: When we can get the same goal accomplished by only conquering one part of it.

Panel 10

Redcloak: Here's the third location. It will take several weeks to reach it, but most of the path is through wilderness.
Redcloak: There's only one little nation to deal with, and we'll control the gate that we need.

Panel 11

Redcloak: The best part is WHICH nation we get to conquer.
Xykon: Nice! You've sold me.

Panel 12

Xykon: Send the word down the line, Redcloak. That's our destination.

Panel 13

Xykon is mounted on a Zombie Dragon before a massive army of hobgoblins, ghouls, and wights.
Xykon: Next stop: Azure City.
Xykon: (If anyone has to pee before we get started, now's the time.
Demon Roach 1: Ooooo, splash page!
Demon Roach 2: Must be the end of a story arc.

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