There's a fight with some ogres and what can Roy do? Absolutely nothing!

Cast[edit | edit source]

Transcript[edit | edit source]

Panel 1

The Order does battle with the ogres. Belkar has ridden his daschund straight up the ogre and is now vertical.

Panel 2

Haley: Hey fearless leader, any chance you might honor us with your presence at the FRONT of the party?

Panel 3

Roy: I don't have a weapon! I couldn't get one in that crappy little town.
Haley: Great. And because you're a fighter, instead of, oh, say, ANY OTHER CLASS, you're useless without one. Fan-freakin'-tastic.

Panel 4

Belkar flies through the panel in the background, injured.
Roy: Look, I got a broken hilt and the stupid Bag of Tricks. What do you want from me??
Haley (off-panel): Pick one and quit whining, maybe?

Panel 5

Roy: Fine!
Roy: Hi ho, Silver!

Panel 6

Roy charges the ogres.

Panel 7

Roy tosses a ball of fur out of his Bag of Tricks.

Panel 8

It turns into a weasel, "pop!"

Panel 9

The weasel falls into an ogre's open mouth.

Panel 10

Durkon: Ye have chosen... poorly.
Ogre #1: BELCH!
Ogre #1: Hey, they're serving hors d'oeuvres!
Ogre #2: Swanky!

D&D Context[edit | edit source]

  • The Bag of Tricks produces a random animal when the user reaches into it.
  • Roy could also have attempted an Unarmed Strike, used the broken Greenhilt Sword as an improvised weapon, or attempted to Grapple the ogre. Ogres, however are very strong and thus difficult to grapple with.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Roy's quote, "Hi ho, Silver!" refers to the famous catchphrase of the radio, TV, and film character the Lone Ranger.
  • Durkon's quote, "Ye have chosen... poorly" refers to grail-choosing scene in the 1989 Stephen Spielberg/George Lucas film, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
  • This is the first appearance of "Hors D'Oeuvres", the weasel in Roy's Bag of Tricks.

External Links[edit | edit source]

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