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Roy considers how to pass "Durkon" off as living. "Durkon" considers his own ends.

Cast[]

Transcript[]

Panel 1

Acolyte of Hoder with Ponytail: Hello! Welcome to the Shrine of Hoder. How may we help you today?
Roy: Hey. We need some healing.
Acolyte of Hoder with Clockwork Leg: Of course, of course. What services do the two of you require.
Roy: I need a Resurrection spell for…uh…a friend of mine who is dead.

Panel 2

Acolyte of Hoder with Ponytail: Oh my. I’m sorry for your loss. Did you bring any remains you were able to salvage with you?
Roy: Oh yeah. One lifeless corpse, right here.
Roy pokes "Durkon"'s face, "poke! poke!"
Acolyte of Hoder with Clockwork Leg: We will speak with our head cleric and let him know. Please wait here.

Panel 3

Inside Durkon's head
Durkon: Now I know ye dinnae really wanna resurrect me—
Durkon: —so why’re ye leading’ Roy ‘round ta all these temples?
"Durkon": A bit of improvisational theater on my part.

Panel 4

"Durkon": It turns out the best way to get where my mistress needs me is for Roy to escort me there.

Panel 5

Outside the Shrine of Hoder.
Roy: Hey…what’s with the blindfolds anyway?
"Durkon": Hoder’s blind, so ‘is priests wear ‘em while on their duty

Panel 6

Roy: I would say that’s lucky for us, then—
Roy: —but they probably have super-sensitive gnome hearing. They noticed two sets of footsteps, eventually they’ll notice only one person breathing.

Panel 7

Roy: Wait—your voice might be supernatural now, but you still have lungs and a diaphragm and everything.
Roy: Try faking some breathing noises.

Panel 8

Inside Durkon's head.
"Durkon": Hmmmm. He is clever. Such a ruse would increase the chances of my own goals succeeding as well.
"Durkon": Very well. You shall breathe once more, Durkon!

Panel 9

Outside
"Durkon": GWWOOOOOOOOOOF

Panel 10

"Durkon"BWEAAARRRR!

Panel 11

Inside the Shrine of Hoder, with Roy and "Durkon" visible outside
"Durkon": GWOOOOBWURRR! GWOOOOBARRRR! GWOOOOGWOOOBWEERRR!
Acolyte of Hoder with Goatee: Ah, a soulful bagpipe dirge for his departed friend.
Acolyte of Hoder with Ponytail: My feels have been hit for maximum damage!

D&D Context[]

  • In D&D, clerics of a high enough level can perform resurrections, even on vampires, given enough time and a sufficient amount of diamonds.

Trivia[]

  • Hoder is a blind god, son of Odin and Frigg, who was tricked by Loki into killing his brother Baldur with a mistletoe arrow. He is associated with darkness and winter by modern pagans.
  • Hoder's clerics use blindfolds as a homage to their blind deity. That is convenient for "Durkon", because that allows him to hide his vampiric nature.

External Links[]

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