|“She Really Doesn't”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||26 January 2018|
|View the comic|
"Durkon" overlooks important intelligence from his spawn, and sends Gontor off to prepare for the Council.
- Durkon Thundershield (as vampire) ◀ ▶
- "Durkon" ◀ ▶
- Gontor Hammerfell (as vampire) ◀ ▶
- Creed of the Stone Usher with Sandy Hair (as vampire) ◀ ▶
- Vampire Dwarf with Brown Beard ◀ ▶
- Vampire Dwarf with Blue Beard and Balding Head ◀ ▶
- Panel 1
"Durkon": I think that went pretty well.
"Durkon": With no clerical magic to protect them, our traps should weaken Roy and the others just enough for us to crush them before dawn.
- Panel 2
Vampire Dwarf with Brown Beard: But...Master, there was a cleric with them!
Vampire Dwarf with Blue Beard and Balding Head: She burned us with the bad light!
"Durkon": What?? Who? Describe her!
- Panel 3
Vampire Dwarf with Brown Beard: She had fair skin and yellow hair, and heavy armor.
Vampire Dwarf with Blue Beard and Balding Head: And a helmet!
"Durkon": Ah, OK, right. One of the lesser priestess of Thor. I saw her before they sealed the door.
"Durkon": I was worried there for a minute.
- Panel 4
Vampire Dwarf with Blue Beard and Balding Head: No, no. I mean, yes, she was definitely there, but—
"Durkon": Don't worry. She might be strong enough to bother you spawn, but she is far too weak to pose a threat to the rest of us.
- Panel 5
"Durkon": Exarch, how is your studying going?
Gontor: Well, Master! I am almost done reading.
- Panel 6
"Durkon": God. The council of clans is governed by a strict set of rules, much like the Godsmoot was.
"Durkon": If we follow them to the letter, those rules will shield us from our enemies even as we work to destroy them.
- Panel 7
"Durkon": The downside is that it means we need to destroy Roy and the others before the meeting begins.
Gontor: I look forward to helping you snuff out the lives of your host's friends.
- Panel 8
"Durkon": I appreciate your enthusiasm, but that's not the job I have for you.
"Durkon": I need you to head over to the council chamber and begin preparing for the vote.
- Panel 9
Gontor: What? Master, no!
Gontor: My rightful place is at your side, executing your commands and/or former colleagues!
- Panel 10
"Durkon": Normally, that would be the case, yes, but we cannot risk our unholy mistress' plans being disrupted.
"Durkon": Begin the prepartions for the vote, and I will join you later.
Gontor: *sigh* Yes, Master.
- Panel 11
"Durkon": And you know what? Take the other one here with you.
Usher with Sandy Hair: Hey, I have a name, you know.
- Panel 12
"Durkon": Do you though?
"Durkon": Do you?
Usher with Sandy Hair: ...
Usher with Sandy Hair: No.
- The title and the related joke in the final panel refers to minor characters such as the vampire spawn not being given names by the author. The joke is perhaps a tweak of this wiki and the thread in the on-line forum which attempts to keep track of the appearances of such minor characters, and thus is forced to give each of them a name, even when the author does not.
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