Something Blue
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 757
Date published 9 November 2010
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Tarquin has Amun-Zora taken away by his guards, after revealing that he had her husband killed to pave the way for their marriage.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Elan: Dad, why? I don't understand. Did they hurt you somehow?
Tarquin: The political complexities require some explaining, my boy, and involve national secrets that I cannot divulge in front of the lovely captain.

Panel 2

Tarquin: Suffice to say that it needed to be done, for their own good. And it was done with less bloodshed than if the siege had been broken.
Tarquin: She should be thanking me.

Panel 3

Amon-Zora: I could almost understand if you had conquered us yourself, but the Weepies are your enemies, too. Is this because I turned down your marriage proposal?
Tarquin: Don't be silly, dear. I don't make decisions of this magnitude over issues of petty romance.
Tarquin: Though the worst of the violence could have been avoided if you had acceded to my request...

Panel 4

Amon-Zora: Damn you! I told you last night and again when you summoned me to your bedchambers this morning:
Amon-Zora: I am already married!!
Tarquin: Yes, you mentioned that. To a pikeman on the...south wall, was it?

Panel 5

Tarquin: I assure you that your marital status is no longer an obstacle as of around midday today.
Tarquin: 'Til then did you part, it would seem.

Panel 6

Amon-Zora hits Tarquin, "SLASH!"
Amon-Zora: BASTARD!!
Tarquin: Nnnh!

Panel 7

Elan steps in an parries her next strike, "KLANG!"
Elan: Stop! I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding. Somehow.
Amun-Zora: Then you are a fool or a villain!
Elan: A fool, but we can still talk this out!
Tarquin: I tire of this. GUARDS!

Panel 8

Amon-Zora: No! Get off me!
Tarquin: Make sure the Captain is comfortable in the tower.
Elan: Dad, are you sure that's really—
Tarquin: Attacking a general of the empire normally carries a death sentence, but I'm sure the courts will make an exception for my bride-to-be.

Panel 9

Elan: Dad, I'm so confused. Did the Empress order you to do all of that bad stuff?
Elan: Because it sounds pretty bad.
Tarquin: No need to worry about it, Son. I'm sure your future stepmother will eventually retract her unflattering accusations. Possibly publicly, I haven't decided.

Panel 10

Elan: Dad, she's really angry. I don't think she's gonna marry you. It sounded like your soldiers accidentally killed her husband.
Tarquin: Oh, you'd be surprised. Some of my previous wives got cold feet before their big day, too.

Panel 11

Flashback of Tarquin's previous wife sitting on a chair, feet frozen in an ice-cube, Miron Shewdanker standing nearby with a wand of cold.
Tarquin: Well?
Previous wife: n-n-NEVER!!

Trivia Edit

  • This is the first appearance of Miron Shewdanker, the arcane spellcaster of the Vector Legion, in the flesh. He was first included in the comic as the author of a letter to Haley regarding the capture of her father (#131).
  • The title refers to a traditional bridal rhyme which details what a bride should wear for luck at her wedding, including "something blue". In this case it is her blue skin from being tortured in ice.

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