The Linear Guild discusses tactics as the Order of the Stick flies out to meet them. After grounding them, Tarquin, masquerading as Thog, decides to solo the Order.
Cast[]
- The Order of the Stick
- Mr. Scruffy ◀ ▶
- The Linear Guild
- Soul-Muncher ◀ ▶
- Tarquin's Pteranodon ◀ ▶
Transcript[]
- Panel 1
The Linear Guild flying above Girard's pyramid.
Tarquin: Nale, son—not that I've never gotten a chuckle out of
dipping people in acid, but is there some reason we've announced our
presence?
Sabine: Nale knows the Order of the Stick a lot better than you do.
Nale: Indeed. I know that if you want them to do something, you
need to prod them now and then.
Nale: Otherwise. They'll just stand around talking until they fill up like eight pages with speech balloons.
- Panel 2
The Order of the Stick flies towards them on their flying carpet from the top of the pyramid.
Sabine: See, Tarquin? A little acid got them moving! Good job, honey!
Nale: Yes dear...Unforutnately, "up" is not the direction I was hoping for.
- Panel 3
Nale: Malack, is the Control Winds scroll you cast still active?
Malack: Is your vapid devil-whore still keeping you aloft?
Sabine: HEY! Who are you calling a devil??
Nale: Keep them contained, then.
- Panel 4
Malack: ...
Tarquin: Come on, Mal. Try to look forward to the end of the mission.
Malack: ...Very well.
- Panel 5
Cut away to the top of the pyramid. A whirlwind surrounds the pyramid with a WOOOOSH!"
- Panel 6
Having been flung from the flying carpet, the party is in disarray at the top of the pyramid.
Elan: No fair! How come THEY get to fly? Stupid biased Windy Canyon!
Roy: That's not JUST the canyon. I think Nale found himself a new divine caster.
Roy: Come on, maybe we can push through this.
- Panel 7
Cut back to the Linear Guild, aloft.
Tarquin: If your goal is to drive them back...I request permission to engage the enemy, O Great Leader of the Linear Guild.
Nale: Permission to hasten my inheritance granted.
- Panel 8
Tarquin: Ha! OK, hold on one moment, I just need to activate one of my armor's enchantments...
Tarquin's armor is surrounded by a red glow.
Nale (off-panel): Glamered armor? Isn't that kind of a weak ability, Dad?
Tarquin: Actually, when you change flags as often as I do, it's a real cost-saver.
- Panel 9
Tarquin's helmet and armor have changed. The helmet has no spikes and the tabard is purple.
Tarquin: There we go!
Tarquin: Now how does the voice go again?
Tarquin: *Ahem*
- Panel 10
Tarquin holds aloft Soul-Muncher and descends on his pteronadon.
Tarquin: THOG SMASHES!
- Panel 11
Kilkil: Sir, watch your grammar!
Malack: Why? What's wrong with it?
Kilkil: Absolutely nothing!
D&D Context[]
- Sabine is a succubus; she is a demon, not a devil. Demons are Chaotic Evil, whereas Devils are Lawful Evil, and they hate each other in many settings. Thus she is offended at being referred to as such.
- Glamered is an armor enchantment. In D&D it alters its appearance to that of a normal set of clothing, but here it instead appears as a different set of armor.
- Control Winds is a 5th level spell of the Air Domain. Malack casts it with a scroll because the spell is not in his Domain. This spell allows the caster to control wind in an area with a variety of effects.
Trivia[]
- Tarquin has brought his axe, Soul-Muncher, for only its second appearance since #50, and its first ever which was not a flashback.
- "Thog Smashes" is Tarquin impersonating Thog when Thog is enraged, which itself is a reference to The Incredible Hulk comics.
- The title refers to the subject-verb agreement in Tarquin's last line. Thog often improperly conjugates his verbs.