Roy and Belkar discuss Belkar's wasted potential.
Cast[]
Transcript[]
- Panel 1
Back in the temple. Roy and Belkar are still drinking while Firuk is going to get another round.
Roy: You're a pain in the ass, you know that?
Belkar: Yeah, I know.
- Panel 2
Roy: No, no, I'm being serious.
Roy: Not like, ha ha, someone got hit in the butt.
Roy: Like a difficult painful obstacle that makes everything worse, with blood and pus and stuff.
- Panel 3
Roy: You're the anal fistula of this quest.
Belkar: You think I don't know? I know!
- Panel 4
Belkar: I get it. I really do. No one wants me here except as raw muscle.
Belkar: If you could plug, like, the bald guy with the scar in my place, you'd all be happier.
- Panel 5
Roy: No, you don't get it. You don't. Sorry.
Roy: This is really gross to say, but you're weirdly clever with this adventuring stuff, when you try. You think I don't notice but I do.
- Panel 6
Roy: You saw that Durkon wasn't Durkon when none of us did. You did whatever you did with the dinosaur.
Roy: You went out on your own and bought magic items to help your defenses, and that fact that you did is the only reason we won!
- Panel 7
Roy downs his mug.
Roy: You could be really good at this, if you weren't so dedicated to being a wretched pile of trash who only wants to make everyone's life harder.
- Panel 8
Belkar: Is that what you think I want? To make your life harder? Really?
Roy: Yes! Yes, that is really what I think you want!
Belkar: Then the joke's on you, because I have no idea what I want!
- Panel 9
Belkar: Besides, if you weren't so hung up on beating Xykon with just your sword to prove something to someone, you'd have gone shopping at some point, too.
Belkar: Then you'd have your own magic stuff that could help you beat him.
- Panel 10
Belkar: But I guess when it's your emotional baggage, it's OK for it to get in the way, right?
- Panel 11
Belkar: Ha! You tried to afterschool-special me about how I don't apply myself, but I made it about you!
Belkar: How does it feel to have someone be all judgy and condescending about your life?
- Panel 12
Roy is taking another round from Firuk who has returned.
Roy: Huh? Oh, sorry, I stopped paying attention in the middle.
Belkar: You can't just start being Old Me when I'm being Old You!
Belkar: If nothing else, Old Me was way easier!!
Trivia[]
- The title refers to the fact that Roy and Belkar are drunk out of their minds during this conversation, and wouldn't normally have this kind of discussion in a lucid state.
- An anal fistula is an abnormal tunnel under the skin that connects the anal canal in the colon to the skin of the buttocks usually caused by an infection.