After "Durkon" and Elan trade mass effect spells, Hilgya brings in the big guns.

Cast[edit | edit source]

Transcript[edit | edit source]

Panel 1

"Durkon": Or at least if you are going to heal, make sure you hurt someone at the same time.
"Durkon": Mass Inflict Serious Wounds.

Panel 2

Haley: Nnnhh!

Panel 3

"Durkon": See, and that also gave us useful intel. Only the elf and the raven are warded.
"Durkon": Spawn, forget the elf! Attack the bard!

Panel 4

Elan: You can do it! Don't give up! Believe in your truth! Mass Cure Light Wounds!
Vampire Dwarf with Blond Ponytail: Arrrgh!
Vampire Dwarf with Gray Beard: So...positive!!
Vampire Dwarf with Blue Beard and Balding Head: Can't handle...having my heart...warmed!!

Panel 5

Belkar: Here, let me air it out for you.
Belkar drives a stake through the vampire's heart from behind, "SPLURKCH!"

Panel 6

Hilgya: OK, Kudzu, Mommy's going to cover your sweet little eyes while she burns it all down.
Blackwing: Watch out, Hilgya—they're protected against fire stuff!
Hilgya: Not a problem—

Panel 7

Hilgya: —Loki's fire burns hotter.
Hilgya: Empowered Flame Strike.

Panel 8

The Flames Strike the table where "Durkon" is surrounded by his spawn, killing one.

Panel 9

Blackwing: Wow, that is bright!
Haley: ...Sunglasses?
Blackwing: Did you think I didn't own an accessory for the specific purpose of sassily telling people to Deal With It?
Haley: Fair.

D&D Context[edit | edit source]

  • Mass Inflict Serious Wounds is a powerful 7th level spell, affecting one creature per level (at least 15 for "Durkon") and dealing 3d8+caster level damage to each. In the case of the vampires, it heals them instead as they channel the negative energy.
  • Mass Cure Light Wounds is a 5th level spell, among Elan's most powerful, which heals 1d8+caster level points of damage. It likewise wounds the vampires.
  • Flame Strike is a 5th level cleric spell which deals up to 15d6 damage in a cylindrical area of effect. Since Hilgya used the Empower Spell feat, it does 50% more damage, helping it overcome the fire resistance the vampires have on them at the moment.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • The title is a reference to the 1986 pop hit The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades by one-hit wonder Timbuk3. The song peaked at #19 on the Billboard Hot 100.
  • This is the final appearance of the Vampire Dwarf with Blue Beard and Balding Head and the Vampire Dwarf Green Beard and Bald Head. They first appeared in #1101.

External Links[edit | edit source]

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