After "Durkon" and Elan trade mass effect spells, Hilgya brings in the big guns.
Cast[edit | edit source]
- The Order of the Stick
- Blackwing ◀ ▶
- "Durkon" ◀ ▶
- Hilgya Firehelm ◀ ▶
- Minrah Shaleshoe ◀ ▶
- Kudzu ◀ ▶
- Creed of the Stone Vampire with Long Hair ◀ ▶
- Vampire Dwarf with Blue Curly Hair ◀ ▶
- Vampire Dwarf with Brown Beard ◀ ▶
- Vampire Dwarf with Blue Beard and Balding Head ◀
- Vampire Dwarf with Red Ponytail ◀ ▶
- Vampire Dwarf with Purple Dress ◀ ▶
- Vampire Dwarf with Gray Beard ◀ ▶
- Vampire Dwarf with Green Beard and Bald Head ◀
- Vampire Dwarf with Ponytail and Cap ◀ ▶
- Vampire Dwarf with Blue Cap ◀ ▶
Transcript[edit | edit source]
- Panel 1
"Durkon": Or at least if you are going to heal, make sure you hurt someone at the same time.
"Durkon": Mass Inflict Serious Wounds.
- Panel 2
- Panel 3
"Durkon": See, and that also gave us useful intel. Only the elf and the raven are warded.
"Durkon": Spawn, forget the elf! Attack the bard!
- Panel 4
Elan: You can do it! Don't give up! Believe in your truth! Mass Cure Light Wounds!
Vampire Dwarf with Blond Ponytail: Arrrgh!
Vampire Dwarf with Gray Beard: So...positive!!
Vampire Dwarf with Blue Beard and Balding Head: Can't handle...having my heart...warmed!!
- Panel 5
Belkar: Here, let me air it out for you.
Belkar drives a stake through the vampire's heart from behind, "SPLURKCH!"
- Panel 6
Hilgya: OK, Kudzu, Mommy's going to cover your sweet little eyes while she burns it all down.
Blackwing: Watch out, Hilgya—they're protected against fire stuff!
Hilgya: Not a problem—
- Panel 7
Hilgya: —Loki's fire burns hotter.
Hilgya: Empowered Flame Strike.
- Panel 8
The Flames Strike the table where "Durkon" is surrounded by his spawn, killing one.
- Panel 9
Blackwing: Wow, that is bright!
Blackwing: Did you think I didn't own an accessory for the specific purpose of sassily telling people to Deal With It?
D&D Context[edit | edit source]
- Mass Inflict Serious Wounds is a powerful 7th level spell, affecting one creature per level (at least 15 for "Durkon") and dealing 3d8+caster level damage to each. In the case of the vampires, it heals them instead as they channel the negative energy.
- Mass Cure Light Wounds is a 5th level spell, among Elan's most powerful, which heals 1d8+caster level points of damage. It likewise wounds the vampires.
- Flame Strike is a 5th level cleric spell which deals up to 15d6 damage in a cylindrical area of effect. Since Hilgya used the Empower Spell feat, it does 50% more damage, helping it overcome the fire resistance the vampires have on them at the moment.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- The title is a reference to the 1986 pop hit The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades by one-hit wonder Timbuk3. The song peaked at #19 on the Billboard Hot 100.
- This is the final appearance of the Vampire Dwarf with Blue Beard and Balding Head and the Vampire Dwarf Green Beard and Bald Head. They first appeared in #1101.