The Great(ish) Escape
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 740
Date published 2 August 2010
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Not to be confused with The Great Escape (Comic 263)

Unaware that Haley and Elan are now honored guests at the Palace of Blood, Durkon attempts to rescue them.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Mr. Guard: And right down this hallway is our seamstress. The general has requested—
Durkon (off-panel): Hold person!

Panel 2

The Guard stops and Elan bumps into him, "WHUMP!"
Elan: Oof!

Panel 3

Elan: Oh, man. That guard needs to get his brake lights checked.
Durkon: Elan! Haley! This way!

Panel 4

Elan: Durkon! You're here! What are you doing?
Durkon: Thor's sternum, what does it look like I'm doin'? I'm mountin' a one-dwarf rescue mission!
Durkon: Now c'mon, 'fore that guard breaks free o' tha par'lyzation.

Panel 5

Elan: But we don't need to be rescued. We're guests!
Durkon: Elan, when yer captor refers ta ye as 'is "guests", he's just usin' an ironic euphemism. Yer na ACTUALLY 'is guests!

Panel 6

Elan: Except in this case, when we are.
Haley: Turns out the head general for this empire is Elan's long-lost father.
Durkon: What? Yer kiddin'! Geez, wha be tha chances o' tha??

Panel 7

Elan: Ummm...
Durkon: Och, right.
Durkon: Like, a hunnerd percent, in this comic.

Panel 8

Haley: He has us staying in the guest quarters, back the way we came.
Haley: V's still there now, trancing so we could Send to you... though I guess it doesn't matter anymore.

Panel 9

Durkon: It still matters, lass. Roy an' Belkar been thrown in jail by tha local 'thorities.
Haley: Crap! We need to break Roy out of there!
Haley: And then decide what to do about Belkar!

Panel 10

Durkon: Now, hold on, lass. Keepin' ye from hangin' fer Nale's crimes be one thing. But tha law got Roy an' Belkar fair an' square. We'll haf ta work within tha system ta—
Haley: *sigh*
Haley: Can we wait to discuss this until we're private?

Panel 11

Haley: Hello, Mr. Guard? Sorry about the paralyzation, it'll wear off in a minute, at the most. Here's a 500 gp tip for the inconvenience.
Haley: If the general asks, tell him we had to run back to our room to rest.
Elan: Wait, Haley—we need a more believable story than that.

Panel 12

Cut to the guard reporting to Tarquin.
Tarquin: ...So they went back to their quarters to give their pet orangutan a bath?
Mr. Guard: That's what he said, sir.
Tarquin: Heh, I guess that's what the kids are calling it these days. Good job, son.

D&D Context Edit

  • Hold Person is a 2nd level spell which causes the subject to become frozen in place for up to 1 round/level. If Durkon is 14th level at this point then the spell could last a little over a minute (84 seconds). A round is 6 seconds.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the final appearance of "Mr. Guard" from the previous strip.

External Links Edit

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