Tragically, His Arms Would Be Too Short for the Lute
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 693
Date published 10 December 2009
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The party finds and activates an illusion planted by Girard Draketooth.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Blackwing and Vaarsuvius are using Arcane Sight
Blackwing: So...when are you going to tell Roy what I saw in the rift?
Vaarsuvius: At some point after he becomes more accustomed to seeing you on my—
Vaarsuvius: Wait! Do you see that?
Blackwing: Yeah, I do.

Panel 2

Vaarsuvius spots a tetrahedron floating next to Roy.
Vaarsuvius: Sir Greenhilt! Please remain stationary at this time! Has either Master Thundershield or the bard cast any spells near your location?
Roy: You mean on the area itself? No, not that I'm aware of.
Vaarsuvius: Then I believe I have located something of importance via Arcane Sight.

Panel 3

Vaarsuvius: There is an inactive spell 1.1 meters in front of you, 0.8 meters in elevation.
Roy: "Inactive"?
Vaarsuvius: It waits to be triggered by predetermined events, possibly verbal in nature.

Panel 4

Roy: So, it's not currently hiding an entrance?
Vaarsuvius: I do not believe so, no.
Roy: could BE the entrance.
Elan: Ooo! Like a spell that teleports you to the dungeon when you say the password.
Roy: Yeah.

Panel 5

Elan: Or maybe the dungeon is really tiny, and the spell shrinks you down so you can fit inside!
Haley: Since we know this rift is larger than Soon's was, that's pretty unlikely, honey.
Haley: Also, if we went right into a full-blown "Alice in Wonderland" parody so soon after the sandworm thing, I think we'd all quit.

Panel 6

Elan: Or maybe only dinosaurs can see the dungeon, and the spell turns us all into—
Roy: Damn it, Elan, I just got all my old brain cells back! Please stop killing them!

Panel 7

Vaarsuvius: Those ideas are theoretically possible, if, for example, the cosmos hates us.
Vaarsuvius: (A premise I am not ready to dismiss, given our adventures thus far.)
Vaarsuvius: However, it does seem as if the spell is of the Illusion school, rather than those of either Transmutation or Conjuration.

Panel 8

Roy: Illusion? Well that certainly seems to point toward Girard... and these are pretty much the exact center of the coordinates Soon handed down to the Sapphire Guard.
Vaarsuvius: Which leaves the question of whether it is better to trigger the spell or not trigger the—
The tetrahedron begins to glow.
Haley: Uh, guys...

Panel 9

Haley (off-panel): I think that question is being answered for us!
Illusory Tetrahedron: Keywords accepted: Gate, Girard, Sapphire Guard, Soon.

Panel 10

An illusory image of Girard appears.
Girard: Hello, My name is Girard Draketooth.
Elan sadly pulls a piece of paper from his pocket.

Panel 11

The paper contains a drawing of a dinosaur wearing a cloak, sash, and chain shirt, titled 'ELANASAURUS REX'.
Elan: *Sigh*
Elan: Maybe next time.

D&D Context Edit

  • Arcane Sight is a 3rd level spell which allows the caster to sense magical auras.

Trivia Edit

  • An error occurred regarding the activation of the illusion spell. One of the keywords it received was 'Gate', yet no one said the word 'Gate'. Haley did say 'Rift' in Panel 5, so it's possible that counts.

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