The Order regroups on the Mechane and asks Julio Scoundrél for his help to get to the last gate.
Cast 
Edit
- The Order of the Stick
- Blackwing ◀ ▶
- The Crew of the Mechane
- Bandana Secundus ◀ ▶
- Julio Scoundrél (also as meme) ◀ ▶
- Carol ◀ ▶
- Azurite Dentist ◀
Transcript Edit
- Panel 1
Sideview of the Mechane speeding up.
- Panel 2
Blackwing: If I don't make it... bury me with my shiny!
Vaarsuvius: You are not injured. You have a slight smudge of dirt on three of your feathers.
Blackwing: LO, THE ICY TALONS OF DEATH APPROACH!
Vaarsuvius: *sigh*
Belkar: Hey, what was with all the pitching and rolling? I came close to passing out!
Roy: You did pass out.
Belkar: Which I couldn't have done if I hadn't come close to it first, genius.
- Panel 3
Elan: Everything's fine. It was nothing Haley and V couldn't handle.
Roy: Oh, OK.
Roy: Check it: healing potions for everyone.
Belkar: Except me. Stupid blood drain.
Bandana: Take as many as you want. We've got crates of 'em on account of the captain's endorsement deal with the brewer.
- Panel 4
Splash image of Julio Scoundrél, with the following caption:
“I DON’T ALWAYS TAKE DAMAGE… BUT WHEN I DO, I DRINK A POTION.”
- Panel 5
Julio: Elan! There you are, my boy!
Elan: Julio! Thanks for showing up! I was worried you weren't going to.
Julio: How could I resist such a compelling argument? Besides, it was the most fun I've had in ages.
- Panel 6
Elan: Was it enough fun that you'd maybe pretty pretty please fly me and my friends around for a while?
Julio: Ha! Sure, why not? The Mechane is at your disposal.
Bandana: Does that mean we have a destination?
Roy: North. All the way—past Dwarven Lands, even.
Bandana: Good, 'cause I've been flying on a heading of Get the Heck Out of Here for 15 minutes.
- Panel 7
Julio: No problem. I can get you there in ten days—eight, if the fate of the world is at risk.
Roy: You have reserve power you can use?
Julio: No, I mean the ship literally flies faster the more is at stake. Darndest thing, really.
- Panel 8
Roy: Huh. Do you think you could shave a day off if there might be two worlds on the line?
Julio: It's worth a shot, but I've been doing this for 30 years and I've never arrived anywhere earlier than the nick of time.
- Panel 9
A flashback shows a younger Julio swinging through a window into a dentist's office.
Dentist: Mr. Scoundrél! We were just about to cancel your root canal!
Julio: I guess I've got some nerve causing a commotion!
D&D Context Edit
- A vampire's blood drain ability drains Constitution, not hit points directly, so it cannot be healed with normal healing spells and potions.
Trivia Edit
- The image on panel 4 is an image macro internet meme called "The Most Interesting Man in the World" based on an advertising campaign for Dos Equis beer. The captions typically follow the phrasal template “I don’t always X, but when I do, I Y.”
- Haley has put her arm in a sling using Carol's bandana. For years prior to #1064, the character was only known as "Mechane Crewwoman with Bandana".
- This is the only other appearance of the Azurite Dentist. He was first seen filling Argent's teeth in #588.
