Haley and Elan finally face a moment of truth.

Cast[edit | edit source]

Transcript[edit | edit source]

Panel 1, Page 1

Sabine: Nale, you worthless mortal scum!
Nale: Geez, you know, how come these plans can never unravel only a little bit at a time?
Haley: MFGL?? P opvvlu Mfgl? Sry!!
Nale: Just for a change of pace?
Thog: thog and nale reunion make thog so happy!
Elan: It's over, Nale!

Panel 2, Page 1

Nale: OK, OK, now everyone just hold on. If Elan and I are going to have our final climactic confrontation now, we've got to clear the room a little.

Panel 3, Page 1

Nale: Hey Thog, you know, Sabine really missed you while you were gone.
Sabine (off-panel): Nale, I'm gonna rip out your—
Thog: really?
Nale: Aww, she just needs a hug!

Panel 4, Page 1

Thog: thog miss sabine, too!
Sabine: What the—? Get away!

Panel 5, Page 1

Thog (off-panel): bull rush tackle hug!
A "CRASH!" comes from off-panel.
Sabine (off-panel): Oooof!
Nale: There, that ought to keep them out of our hair while we finish this once and for all.

Panel 6, Page 1

Elan stabs Nale in the chest.
Elan: Looks like you brought a dagger to a swordfight, Nale.
Elan: Which I'm sure Sabine has said to you in the bedroom more than once. Elan stabs Nale
Nale: Uch!

Panel 7, Page 1

Nale: We're identical twins, you moron. You just insulted yourself.
Elan: Identical? Really? 'Cause you seem to have a few more holes in you right now.
Elan stabs Nale in the arm, while Nale misses Elan.
Nale: Rrrg!

Panel 8, Page 1

Nale: When the hell did you become reasonably competent in a fight?
Elan: When I needed to save a poor girl who can't speak right from a bastard like you!
Elan parries Nale.

Panel 9, Page 1

Nale: Geez, again! We're TWINS, you idiot, we have the same parents! If I'm a bastard, then that means that you're one—

Panel 10, Page 1

Nale: Wait... "can't speak right"?
Elan: You know, I learned a lot of useful skills in prison, Nale. Like how to cook...
Nale: So that wasn't an obscure language she was speaking...

Panel 11, Page 1

Elan: You might be familiar with our special family recipe for shish kebabs!
Elan perforates Nale in the chest and disarms him, "shtulk!"

Panel 1, Page 2

Nale: Charm—
Elan: Served with a tall glass of punch!
Elan punches Nale, "pow!"
Nale: Guh!
'Nale's looses concentration on his spell, "fizzle!"

Panel 2, Page 2

Elan: And extra peppers to kick it up a notch!
Elan kicks Nale, "whumf!"
Elan: BAM!
Haley: Keeeeee! Opno ypv fvv, Euugd Lcclnwpql Lgfm!

Panel 3, Page 2

Elan: As I said, it's over, Nale. You're beaten. Give up.
Nale: Oh, I still have one more deception up my sleeve...

Panel 4, Page 2

Nale: Now, Haley! Sneak attack from behind!
Elan: Huh!
Haley: Ysy?

Panel 5, Page 2

Nale: Oh my, you really haven't realized it yet. I would have thought bursting in on the two of us "in flagrante delicto," as it were, would have made it clear.
Elan: Made what clear??

Panel 6, Page 2

Nale: Don't you see, Elan? Your precious Haley is evil, just like me. She's been working for me all along.
Nale: She's been my spy, infiltrating the Order of the Stick since before you and I even met face-to-face.

Panel 7, Page 2

Nale: I learned of you from our father, and Haley and I orchestrated events to destroy you on every possible level.
Elan: That's silly. You can't really expect me to believe something so—

Panel 8, Page 2

Nale: "Needlessly complicated?"
Elan: Oh. Right.

Panel 9, Page 2

Haley: Des'ql rew we il obuupmr al. Lgfm, des'xl mew isdpmr wypv, fxl des???
Nale: No, darling, no point in hiding our relationship now.
Elan: You can understand her?
Nale: Of course! That's Infernal she's been speaking—the language of the devils.

Panel 10, Page 2

Nale: Naturally, we've been lovers for years. That kill was merely our evil celebration of your demise.
Elan: I...I don't believe you. You're lying!
Haley: Ufam vwxfpryw, yl'v gdpmr!
Nale: Come now, the signs are obvious.

Panel 11, Page 2

Nale: She can't control her wicked lust for wealth, can she?
Nale: And that dress! Is that really the dress of someone who's NOT an evil temptress?
Haley: Yl iesryw al wypv uxlvv! Neal em, kesgu FMD keafm NYEEVL we klfx wypv wypmr?

Panel 12, Page 2

Nale: She let you rot in prison. Shouldn't she have known? Wasn't she the smart one in the party?
Haley: Me! P'a mew! P'a vwsjpu! P'a ve vwsjpu!!

Panel 1, Page 3

Nale: Face it, Brother. This tramp has been playing you for months, you gullible sap.
Elan: Haley... This... isn't true, right? He's just making it up?
Haley: Ec nesxvl mew! Wypv pv fivsxu! P'a Nyfewpn Reeu!

Panel 2, Page 3

Nale: Well, I guess you have your answer there on her face.
Nale: She does not look happy that I'm blowing her cover.
Haley: Kyd fxl des gpvwlmpnr we ypa?? Yl'v wyl QPGGFPM!
Haley's Self-Loathing hovers behind her.
Self-Loathing: He's listening to Nale because you don't have the ability to raise any o[b]jection, you pathetic sack of crap.
Self-Loathing: Should have listened to me when you had the chance.

Panel 3, Page 3

Nale: And you, dressed up like a little hero to save the day. Too bad your princess here has been laughing at you behind your back all along.
Elan: Laughing...?
Nale: Oh yes, Laughing at you, not with you.
Self-Loathing: Look at him, using that Bluff skill to turn Elan against us.
Haley: Me, P yfqlm'w!
Self-Loathing: Hey, don't you have ranks in Bluff? It's been so long, I barely remember.

Panel 4, Page 3

Nale: The switch was Haley's idea, you know. She told me she couldn't stand to be near your incessant idiocy for one more day.
Haley cries.
Haley: Des yfql we ilgplql al! Yl'v gdpmr!!
Self-Loathing: Well, looks like this is it. The end. The curtain falls on your schoolgirl delusions of romance. Any hope of him loving you is shriveling up as we speak.
Self-Loathing: Well, as I speak, at least.

Panel 5, Page 3

Nale: Doesn't that just make you so... angry?
Nale: (Suggestion.)
Elan: Actually, yeah! It does! I went through all this to save you, and you were a bad guy the whole time!
Haley: Kyfw?? Me! ME!!
Self-Loathing: Yup, listen to that. He's buying it. He thinks you're evil now.
Self-Loathing: Told.
Self-Loathing: You.
Self-Loathing: So.

Panel 6, Page 2

No balloons have arrows anymore, probably to indicate Haley is mentally collapsing.
(Self-Loathing's dialogue is still translucent and Haley's dialog cryptic, so its not hard to attribute)
Nale: Very, very angry...
Elan: You're worse than Nale is!
Self-Loathing: He'll never forgive you.
Haley: P nfm'w...
Self-Loathing: He'll learn to hate you.
Haley: ...wypmo...

Panel 7, Page 2

Still the balloons have no arrows.
Elan: I never want to see you—
Haley: P nfm'w gevl ypa...
Self-Loathing: And then he'll leave.
Haley: P—P wyesryw...
Self-Loathing: Just like everyone else—
Nale: Angry enough to kill, even...
Haley: P wyesryw—

Panel 8, Page 2

Elan snaps out of the suggestion, "snap!"

Panel 9, Page 2

Elan stares at Haley.
Haley holds her hands before her mouth, shocked by her own words.

D&D Context[edit | edit source]

  • Bull Rush is a special attack where the attacker attempts to knock an opponent back.
  • The Bluff skill allows the character to deceive another.
  • In Panel 1, Page 2, Nale was attempting to cast Charm Person, which would make the target act like the caster is his friend. Nale used this on Belkar in #383.
  • Suggestion, a 3rd level wizard spell that allows the caster to suggest a course of action that the target will follow.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • The translations of Haley's lines are:
    • Panel 1, Page 1: NALE?? I kissed Nale? Ugh!!
    • Panel 2, Page 2: Woooooo! Kick his ass, Oddly Effective Elan!
    • Panel 4, Page 2: Huh?
    • Panel 9, Page 2: You've got to be kidding me. Elan, you're not buying this, are you???
      • There is typo in Haley's cryptogram in Panel 9, Page 2: "kidding" should be "opuupmrp," not "obuupmr."
    • Panel 10, Page 2: Damn straight, he's lying!
    • Panel 11, Page 2: He bought me this dress! Come on, would any woman choose to wear this thing?
    • Panel 11, Page 2: No! I'm not! I'm stupid! I'm so stupid!
    • Panel 1, Page 3: Of course not! This is absurd! I'm Chaotic Good!! Ish!
    • Panel 2, Page 3: Why are you listening to him?? He's the VILLAIN!
      • There is typo in Haley's cryptogram in Panel 2, Page 3: "listening" should be "gpvwlnpnr," not "gpvwlmpnr."
    • Panel 3, Page 3: No, I haven't!
    • Panel 4, Page 3: You have to believe me! He's lying!!
    • Panel 5, Page 3: What?? No! NO!!
    • Panel 6, Page 3: I can't...
    • Panel 6, Page 3: ...think...
    • Panel 7, Page 3: I can't lose you
    • Panel 7, Page 3: I-I thought...
    • Panel 7, Page 3: I thought—
  • Haley has only spoken in cryptograms since #245, Easy Come, Easy Go, a span of 148 strips, and over 13 months of real-world time. The period spans the end of the last book, No Cure for the Paladin Blues, continuing well into War and XPs
  • In flagrante dilicto is a Latin legal term which means, literally, "in blazing offence". It means to be caught in the act, and colloquially is used to mean being caught in the sexual act.

External Links[edit | edit source]

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