Nale is discovered by Belkar.
Cast[edit | edit source]
Transcript[edit | edit source]
- Panel 1
Nale: Ah, Nale, you handsome beast, this will be the evil frosting on a very wicked cake.
Nale: You'll wine her and dine her and then, right when she's ready to let you have her way with her, you'll kill her instead.
- Panel 2
Nale: I'm sure it will be difficult to describe in words the exact mixture of shock and betrayal when "Elan" runs her through with a dagger on the cusp of the consumation[sic] of her wildest romantic fantasy—
Nale: —but maybe after this whole gate thing is resolved, I'll pop on over to my brother's jail cell and do my best to do it justice.
- Panel 3
Nale: Whew, OK. Hopefully that got my natural urge to digress into a complete explanation of my evil plan out of my system.
Nale: I don't want to go all "Bond villain" and forget to finish the job.
- Panel 4
Belkar: Hey Elan, you won't believe the game of Parcheesi we just—
- Panel 5
- Panel 6
Belkar: You frickin' bastard!!
- Panel 7
Belkar: Nale, you spineless piece of weasel crap, I'm gonna cut your—
Nale: Charm Person!
- Panel 8
Belkar: —hair for you, if you'd like. It sure could use a trim.
Nale: Wow, that was close.
- Panel 9
Nale: Close the door and put the daggers away.
Nale: How did you suddenly figure out it was me and not my brother?
Belkar: You smell different.
Nale: Ah... I've been wearing Elan's clothes for days, but upon bathing for my "date", my own scent must have reasserted itself...
- Panel 10
Nale: Well, I can't risk you telling anyone, but I can't risk your body being found either. Let's kill two PCs with one spell, then.
Nale: If you see any of your allies before I get back, kill them and bring me their magic items.
Belkar: What?? Never!!
- Panel 11
Nale: Ah, that's right... the spell will not compel the subject to do anything to which they will vehemently object.
Nale: I will need to choose my commands carefully to make them seem more reasonable.
- Panel 12
Nale: If you see any of your allies, kill them and keep their magic items for yourself.
Belkar: You got it, boss.
Nale: While singing the complete score to "Meet Me in St. Louis."
Belkar: ♪"Meet me in ♪St. Louis, Louis, ♪meet me at the fair..."♪
Nale: I love being evil.
D&D Context[edit | edit source]
- Nale accurately explains the limits of the Charm Person spell.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- As the title points out, when Belkar is commanded to sing the score of Meet Me in St. Louis he is able to comply because he already knows it.
- Meet Me in St. Louis was a musical film released in 1944 starring Judy Garland. Belkar is singing the opening number, "Meet Me in St. Louis, Louis".
- Bond villains are known for explaining their plans to Bond before leaving him to die but not actually staying to make sure it takes place. Goldfinger is a prime example of this.