You Should Have Seen What He Did With the Corsage
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 340
Date published 22 August 2006
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The Order of the Stick arrive in Cliffport with the quest to free Julia from Nale.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

A swirling blue shape appears in the middle of Cliffport. It makes an "mmmmm..." sound.

Panel 2

The cast appear with a loud "POP!"
Belkar: —just saying, if Ears here learned how to cast Teleport already, we wouldn't have had to sweet-talk Shojo into lending us a wizard.
Vaarsuvius: When I chose Conjuration as my barred school, Teleport was still a Transmutation spell. It is hardly my fault that the universal laws of the universe have changed since then!
Haley: Vrqxx rtegqxg abqvo lvqkul hte fx'qx LVKMM jhskeo nrxhu qtmx qxyklkbe wbsxl... Obgl, fx ltns.

Panel 3

Roy: Calm down, both of you. It worked out just fine.
Roy: I told Shojo we were pursuing a known associate of Xykon, which is technically true.
Roy: He doesn't need to know any more than that.

Panel 4

Wizard Guy: Excuse me sir, if your done pretending I can't hear you because I'm a nameless NPC, I'll head off to that tavern there and get utterly drunk in response to my life's apparent meaninglessness.
Roy: Huh? Oh yeah, whatever, have fun.

Panel 5

Roy: OK people, stay sharp. Nale is somewhere in the city.
Roy: It's a safe bet that the half-orc broke out of prison with him, too.

Panel 6

Roy: Nale gave me a location of a warehouse for the hostage exchange, so we'll start there.
Belkar: Ah, so your cunning plan is to foil his trap by walking directly into it.
Roy: Sort of, yeah.

Panel 7

Roy: I intend to smoke Nale out of his hiding place. He's too much of an egomaniac to pass up an opportunity to gloat.
Roy: If I show up, he'll want to explain exactly how he beat me. Then we beat the crap out of him.

Panel 8

Roy: I'll go in the front door. V, you take Durkon and cover me from the street. Haley, find a rooftop position to snipe from. Elan, hide as best you can.

Panel 9

Belkar: What about me?
Roy: Protect Elan. We know Nale will come after him if he can.
Belkar: I could do that a lot better if this stupid Mark of Justice was lifted.
Roy: I never said it was a perfect plan.

Panel 10

Belkar: Man, this sucks! Once again, I have to sit on the sideline and watch while everyone else gets the action!
Belkar: This is just like my high school prom all over again!

Panel 11

Elan: Aww, do you mean because all the other halflings got the girls?
Belkar: No, I mean because they prevented me from stabbing anyone in the eye then, too.
Belkar: The after-party, on the other hand...

D&D Context Edit

  • Teleport is a 5th level wizard spell that allows instantaneous travel for the caster and up to one additional person for every three levels. Under normal rules for the spell, this would make Wizard Guy at least level 18, since he brought six people with him. Alternatively, he could have taken the Wayfarer Guide prestige class to increase the limit, which would place the lower bound on his level at 12 (Wizard 9/Arcane Guide 3).
  • In 2nd Edition AD&D, Teleport was in the Alteration school of magic, which was renamed Transmutation in the 3rd edition. The spell then moved to Conjuration magic in the 3.5 edition. Vaarsuvius chose to Specialize in the Evocation school, and chose Conjuration as a barred school. Thus with the rule revisions in 3.5, V lost the ability to cast Teleport.
  • Wizard Guy's line refers to typical player behavior of ignoring or belittling non-player characters (NPCs), treating them like little more than parts of the scenery unless they have something the players want.

Trivia Edit

  • The translation of Haley's line is:
    • Panel 2: Three hundred fortg [sic] strips aun [sic] we're STILL making cheap rule revision jokes... Gods, we suck.
      • There again appears to be an error in the cryptogram, and this time not a simple double replacement. The two misspelled words should read "forty" and "and".
  • This is the first appearance of Wizard Guy (known in the forum list as "Azurite Wizard").
  • In panel three, Roy is referring to the fact that when they met, Nale was working for Xykon to kill the Order.
  • The discussion thread for this strip was lost or else never existed.

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