You Try Rhyming 'Assassin'
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 238
Date published 28 October 2005
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Elan unsuccessfully attempts to get the civilians to safety.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Miko: What I don't understand is why a pair of professional killers would ever be after Greenhilt.
Durkon: Uh...tha's not really important right now. We have ta get all these innocent inn patrons out.

Panel 2

Miko: I suppose you are correct, Durkon. However, should we inform them of the assassins, they will panic and hurt one another in a rush to flee the inn.
Miko: What we need is a means to compel them to exit in a calm and orderly fashion.

Panel 3

Elan: I know! I'll since[sic] a charming bard song to enchant them into following me!
Durkon: Elan, are you really sure tha this—

Panel 4

Elan jumps onto a table in the common room of the inn.
Elan: Attention, drunken citizens! Harken, and listen to my song!

Panel 5

Elan (singing):
♪Won't you come leave the inn with me?
There's really neat things you should see
Out there on the emerald fields untilled.
It has nothing to do with you getting killed.♪♪

Panel 6

Elan jumps off the table.
Elan (singing):
♪You should follow me out onto the grass'n
It's not so you can avoid the assassins
That sure aren't running loose in the place
And might stab you seven times in the face.♪♪

Panel 7

Elan walks out the door.
Elan (singing):
♪There's no reason at all for us to herd
You out of here fast, I give you my word.
Let's all just leave this inn that's wooden.
If you do, we'll...uh, give you free pudding!♪♪

Panel 8

Elan continues walking out into the night.
Elan (singing):
♪Now each one of you is safe and sound
Outside the inn and on the ground
Where we know you won't be bugged
By two mean guys who just need to be hugged!♪

Panel 9

Elan: Well, there you go! You're all safely out of the—

Panel 10

Elan turns around and finds that only one person followed him outside
Elan: —inn?
Civilian: So...I believe there was a promise of pudding?
Durkon: Pied Piper's got no reason ta worry aboot his job security.
Miko: Indeed.

D&D Context Edit

  • Elan is attempting to combine two bardic class features: Fascinate and Suggestion, both of which rely on his music to work. He must first fascinate the audience (within 90 feet), at which point he can plant the suggestion that they follow him outside. Apparently this only worked on one of the audience members, and even that one may have resisted the effect and simply wanted pudding.

Trivia Edit

  • In the third panel Rich misspells 'sing' as 'since'.
  • The Pied Piper is a legend about a person who used his music to lure people and animals.
  • The blonde girl in the inn, and perhaps the short-haired girl resemble members surviving members of the disbanded Bandit Clan of Wooden Forest. They are not being counted as the same person for number of appearances sake in this wiki.

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