Your Worst
Order of the Stick comic
Your Worst
Comic no. 1007
Date published 30 September 2015
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The vampire spirit possessing Durkon delves deep into his darkest memories to find Durkon at his worst.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1, Page 1

"Durkon": Do you know what my favorite part of my mistress' scheme is?
Roy: Unnnh... gotta...

Panel 2, Page 1

"Durkon": The dwarves will suffer worse than anyone!
Roy: They're... your own... people!
"Durkon": So?
"Durkon" attacks with a touch spell, but Roy parries with the Greenhilt Sword, "BLOCK!"

Panel 3, Page 1

"Durkon": They exiled me for no reason! Almost twenty years gone by!
"Durkon": They will have all of eternity to contemplate their error!

Panel 4, Page 1

Cut to Durkon's thoughts.
Durkon: Roy, ye daft fool, how can ye still think tha's me?!?
"Durkon": Why wouldn't he? It's not as if you don't have grievances against your own kind.

Panel 5, Page 1

Durkon: Whuh..?
Durkon: Nay, I... I dinnae have nuthin' against tha dwarven people.
"Durkon": Really? Nothing at all?

Panel 6, Page 1

"Durkon": Fun fact: When a new vampire spirit springs into existence, the first memories it absorbs are the lowest, darkest moments of the host's life.
"Durkon": So I've already watched these—

Panel 7, Page 1

"Durkon": But it seems like you could use a refresher.
Flashback begins.
High Priest Hurak: I'm sorry it has ta be like this, Durkon.
Durkon: Nay! Stop! What're ye doin'? I dinnae unnerstand wha's goin—

Panel 8, Page 1

High Priest Hurak: Yer a good cleric, an' I'll miss ye terrible while yer on yer "mission" ta human lands.
Durkon: High Priest Hurak, please! Ye cannae do this ta me!
Durkon: I dinnae do anythin' wrong!

Panel 9, Page 1

Durkon: What aboot me Ma? Ye know she needs help! She hides it, but she's getting arthritis in 'er hand!
Durkon: Please, ye haf ta let me stay wit 'er!

Panel 10, Page 1

High Priest Hurak: I'm... sorry. Ye know how much Sigdi means ta all o' us at tha temple. I hope Thor forgives me some day fer doin' this.
Durkon: Damn ye, man! At least let me go home ta say goodbye to—

Panel 11, Page 1

Durkon is tossed out of the temple by the two guards.

Panel 1, Page 2

Flashback ends.
"Durkon": Well gosh, that seemed rude. Let's fast forward to later in the week, shall we?
Durkon: No! No, ye've made yer point, I dinnae need ta see—

Panel 2, Page 2

Flashback begins.
Durkon: I dinna blame ye, Thor. This be thar doin' na yers.
Durkon: Me own church, kickin' me out in tha cold wit not enuff money ta get thru a week.

Panel 3, Page 2

Durkon: After all our family's done fer them, this be tha thanks we get?!?
Durkon: Leavin' Ma ta think I'm dead inna ditch somewhere?!?

Panel 4, Page 2

Durkon: Well, ta Hel wit ye, Hurak! Ta Hel wit all o' ye!
Durkon: Thor as my witness, ta Hel with e'ry single last one o' ye!!

Panel 5, Page 2

Flashback ends.
"Durkon": Well.
"Durkon": Never let it be said that the multiverse doesn't grant wishes.

Panel 6, Page 2

Durkon: Tha's... tha's na who I am.
"Durkon": Oh, I'm sorry, did you have an evil magic spirit in your head controlling your actions then, too?

Panel 7, Page 2

"Durkon": That's you. You said those words.
"Durkon": You can hang there and pretend you're so much nobler than I am—
"Durkon": —but for that one moment? You felt exactly what I feel.

Panel 8, Page 2

"Durkon": You are who you are on your worse day, Durkon. Anything less is a comforting lie you tell yourself to numb the pain.
"Durkon": And that's who I am. Your worst day, personified.

Panel 9, Page 2

"Durkon": Hel may have created me, but she shaped me to fit perfectly in the hole in your heart.

Panel 10, Page 2

"Durkon": Who knows? Some other vampire spirit who was made-to-order for a different dwarf might've done as Roy suggested and rejected Hel's plan from the start.
"Durkon": I guess we're just lucky you've got so much unresolved resentment lurking under that beard.

Panel 11, Page 2

Durkon: ...
"Durkon": No self-righteous comeback? Just as well. All the better to focus on killing your friend.

Panel 12, Page 2

Cut back to the fight. The "Durkon" is draining more levels from Roy.
Roy: Nnrrrgh!!!

D&D Context Edit

  • Since D&D cosmology includes multiple planes of existence and multiple worlds, the characters live in a "multiverse" rather than a universe.
  • Durkon appears to use an unspecified spell in the second panel, perhaps one of the Inflict Wounds spells.
  • In the final panel he appears to use his vampiric Energy Drain ability for the third time, meaning Roy is now down six levels. He would be slain if all the levels are drained.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the second time Hurak's Dwarf Tossers have been portrayed in the comic, and both times have been a flashback of the same moment. It is interesting to compare their appearance in #305, "The Epistle of Durkon", with their appearance here, highlighting the increasing sophistication of the art style in Order of the Stick.
  • This is the first appearance of High Priest Hurak in the main comic. He also appeared in On the Origin of PCs, in the scene of the Durkon's exile as well, though, neither panel is repeated on these pages (with the exception of the capstone frame that also appeared in #305 as mentioned above).

External Links Edit